Wanted Child
by aprileagle
Summary: COMPLETE! Michiru always wanted to have an own child. But a bad illness destroys her greatest wish. While she's on tour to accept that destiny, Haruka accepts the gift Usagi makes to prevent a great tragedy.
1. Prologue March

Wenn morgen die Welt unterginge,

würde ich heute noch mein Apfelbäumchen pflanzen. 

Reinhard Mey

(If the world would end tomorrow,

I would plant my little apple-tree this very day.)

**Note by the author:**

The lines are taken from the album My little apple-tree by Reinhard Mey. I don't know if it is so well-known in Germany, but I've heard it when I was younger. The whole album is about the joy of having children. Mey says that a child is like a little apple-tree. It has to grow with our strength, our protection and all our love. Children are the most important persons in our life. They teach us to look at the world through different eyes. They show us to laugh about little things we've already forgotten. They help us to see our own lives the way they do. A way we've lost when we grew up. Mey also says that having children is the greatest adventure in life. I don't have children, but I believe him. And someday, maybe I'll have a little daughter, too.

This story is about Haruka and Michiru. They can't have children together. Naturally. So I had to change some rules. Please excuse me for wrong details, but I am not a doctor. I am just an author and I want to tell you a fairy tale (yes, you could name it this way).

The time of this story isn't really important. But it could be some years after the fifth season.

Disclaimer: Yes, I know that I don't own Sailor Moon, as I know that everyone else knows who actually created them. But I don't care. I just borrow the characters and write my own story.

For murder threats or declarations of love e-mail: aprileaglefreenet.de !

April 23rd 2000, about 23 o'clock: IT'S A BOY! Congratulations, my dear Sylvia...

Wanted Child By April Eagle 

**Prologue (March)**

I love you.

The young woman paced through the long white corridors for the tenth time. Or the eleventh? She didn't know. She didn't count. She didn't think of anything at all. Of anything else than the weak voice she heard again and again in her mind.

I love you.

With every minute she got more and more nervous. Her dark green eyes looked for some seconds at the watch then she carried on. It was an aimless walk through the bright building. But she couldn't stay calm. It had been about an hour ago that they began to operate her lover. The person who meant everything to her. Who was all of her life. The young woman sighed and shuffled over to a big window where she could oversee a great park. What took them so long? Were there any complications? Was her lover fighting with death just this moment? And here she stood and couldn't help her! That was the hardest thing about it. Standing around, total helplessly! She was very strong, but all her powers couldn't save her life if the doctor did any mistakes. If he was wrong when he told her lover the truth about the illness.

They had to operate quickly to save her life. The longer her lover did wait the lower was the chance to survive. The young woman sighed as she remembered the sad look in pure blue eyes she loved so much. They both knew what it meant and it had been very hard for her to let her lover choose. The choice had been life.

I love you.

These were the last words of her lover before the anaesthesia did it's job. The young woman clenched her fists, looked straight over to a huge tree standing in front of the hospital. It stood in blossom like all trees did in Japan. Spring had just began and what would follow would be the hardest summer of their lives - and the saddest. She knew that her lover went through all this pain for her. For her and their daughter.

Because to save her life she gave up her greatest wish, her best dream.

The young woman hoped that she did the right thing. That she would never regret this step. But life was too worthy to been thrown away! And she didn't know how to carry on without her lover... She sighed again and rubbed her hand over her pale face. Her green eyes stared back at her from the window. They were full of tears. The young woman had to swallow. She couldn't remember the last time she cried.

Her fingers tore her short blond hair restlessly. They trembled.

"Miss Tenô?" A nurse walked over to the young woman holding a cell phone. "Here is a call for you."

"Thanks." She replied wondering how shaky her voice was. She watched the nurse disappear then listened to the exited voice in the telephone.

"I don't know. They started over an hour ago." Her voice was not more than a whisper. "I am frightened." Never before she had admitted it. However, she was afraid deep down. Afraid of losing the person who meant everything to her. Who was her future.

"And Hime-chan? Did she mention anything?" The young woman leaned against the white wall taking a deep breath. "No, that's good. Very good." Again a deep breath. It became harder and harder for her to fight back her tears. Suddenly she felt all alone.

I love you.

No, she had never been alone. Not after she had met that sweet person who understood her. Who loved her with all consequences. And now this illness happened. The young woman felt deep regret inside her heart. It was her fault that her lover couldn't make her greatest dream come true. Now it was too late.

"Tanks, Yaten. I don't know how..." She was interrupted by the voice and nodded thoughtfully. "And my best wishes to Setsuna. Yes, I will... you can..." The young woman wanted to say something more, but she forgot all the words in her mind when she saw the doctor coming toward her. She shivered and wondered if the air in the hospital had suddenly frozen. Her hand couldn't hold the cell phone any longer and it cracked as it hit the ground.

The young woman wanted to ask so many questions, but she couldn't say a word. She just stood there staring at the man in white. She stopped to move. To think. To hope.

I love you.

A smile appeared on the doctor's face when he saw the blank horror in the pale face of the young woman.

"Don't worry." He said in a calm steady voice. "Everything will be fine. She got through the operation very well. Of course there will be more medical examinations , but I don't think there will be any complications."

"Thanks heaven!" The young woman didn't realise that tears were running down her pale face.

I love you.

"Can I see her?"

The doctor watched her for a moment, then he nodded.

"Yes, but only shortly. She is still unconscious and it will take some more time until she awakes."

She looked so small in the bed, so fragile.

Her sea green hair laid on the pillow, her deep blue eyes were shut. The skin of her body was almost white.

The young woman took a chair and sat down next to the bed. She ignored the machines making regular noises. She also ignored the needles and the drips connected to her lover's body. All she could see was the younger woman lying under the blankets. Her eyes were shut, her face was pale, but her chest moved slightly.

She was still alive. Only that fact did count.

Carefully Haruka took the hand of her lover and held it tight. Michiru decided to live. For her and for Hotaru. Haruka hoped that Michiru would never regret her decision.

I love you.

Michiru's flat voice had been full of hope. She wanted to live. She wanted to have a future. She wanted to be with the persons she loved.

Haruka touched the blankets with every caution she could muster where she suspected the belly of her lover to be.

Michiru would be a great mother to Hotaru without ever given birth to an own child.

I love you.

"I love you too, Michi-chan." Haruka looked down at the small figure of her lover and pressed her hand gently.

Then she started to sob.

**-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**


	2. Chapter 1 April

**Chapter One (April)**

"Michiru-mama!" The little five year old girl opened the door quickly and crossed the room running. Her black hair was shoulder long. The yellow skirt had brown spots all over, surely from chocolate milk or ice cream. Her dark eyes were bright when she jumped onto the bed next to the window.

"Hey, my little darling!" The young woman laughed and embraced her daughter softly. "What have you done?"

"I've played with a lovely dog and I had a milkshake and... please, mommy, I want to have a dog. An Irish Setter. They're so cute. Pleeaassseeee!" Hotaru's face looked pleadingly up to her.

"Not yet, my little darling." Michiru smiled at the girl in her arms.

"She's a little tomboy!" Haruka sat down next to the two and stroke softly the hair of Hotaru who looked out of the window.

"Just like you." The smile faded slightly on the face of Michiru but Haruka noticed.

"Everything okay?" She asked as she did every day but today her voice was more silent, her dark green eyes looked more serious than usual.

"You've heard of it?"

"Yes. The doctor told me that you can leave the hospital tomorrow. All the tests were positive, so you're recovered."

"I wouldn't call it that way..." Michiru sighed and couldn't look straight into her lover's eyes any longer.

"Michi, you know..." Haruka took her hand and blushed as always when she talked about her feelings. They have been together for all those wonderful years and the past four years they raised Hotaru after the sudden death of Dr. Tomoe, but still it was hard for the blonde to talk about her thoughts, about the love she felt for the younger woman. However, this time she was interrupted by the little girl who fell around Michiru's neck.

"You're coming home, Michiru-mama? That's great. 'Cause I missed you very much. And I don't like to eat the food of Haruka-papa anymore. She can't cook!"

"Hey, small princess! Almost every day we were at McDonald's. That's unfair!" Haruka's face looked angry, but just a little bit. She loved their daughter too much to be angry about her for long.

"Yes, only almost, not always!" The smile on the child's face disappeared and tears were in her eyes when she asked her mother. "The flu is over, isn't it? I don't want you to go back again in this building, mommy. It is full of pain, sadness and despair."

Haruka and Michiru exchanged glances. These were the only moments they remembered that their little daughter would be one day Sailor Saturn, the senshi of death.

"No, my little darling. I won't return."

"Promise that you'll never leave me!" The girl's expression was still serious.

"I promise to be with you as long as you need me." Michiru answered giving Hotaru a kiss on her forehead. The girl nodded and looked again out of the window. She was satisfied with the promise her mother had made.

Haruka watched her lover in silence. She wasn't.

"She's sleeping. At last." Haruka closed the door silently and went to the balcony to look over the near sea. It was already dark and the wind was very fresh. But the young woman loved the feeling to stand in the wind. There she felt free. Free of guilt. Free of sadness. Free of sorrow. Free of fear...

"It was a hard day for her." Michiru appeared next to her. For a few moments they both listened to the rushes of the waves. No one said anything. They didn't need any words. They never had.

"It were hard weeks for you, too." Haruka finally replied not looking at her lover. They hadn't had the chance to talk about the operation, because Hotaru was not supposed get to know the truth. She was too small to understand. They both knew that their daughter was very frightened of losing one of them - and the operation had been dangerous.

"Yes..." Michiru sighed. She fought back her tears with all her force, yet her voice began to tremble. "But everything will be fine, 'cause I am recovered." Michiru imitated the doctor's words. A small tear made down it's way on her pale face. Unconsciously she clasped her hands in front of her belly still watching the endless sea.

"I love you, Ruka. And I love my little darling, but I can't just behave as if nothing happened." She winced as she felt the arms around her waist.

"So can't I." Haruka's voice was as quiet as her own.

"I have decided to go on tour. That's what my manager always wanted me to do. And I guess my fans, too. I'll be away for a long time, 'cause I wanna visit America and Europe. The tour will take about half a year." She stopped talking when she felt how Haruka froze.

"Our small princess will miss you." Finally replied the blonde taking a deep breath. Michiru knew that her lover not only meant Hotaru.

"I know." Tears were running down Michiru's pale face. The wind got colder with every minute. Dark clouds covered the full moon and the strand got darker and darker. "But I need to see other places than Japan. I have to talk to other people than the Sailor team. I just can't wait for Chibiusa to be born and I..." She started to sob and the embracement of her lover got stronger.

"I understand you, Michi-chan." Haruka held her tight as she cried in silence. "Go and find peace in your music. I can't help you with your problems. But I am here when you need me." She looked up to the sky and could see stars behind the clouds. "Go on tour, sweetheart. I will take care of Hotaru. Besides, there'll be the Grand Prix of Japan during the next months. You know I want to win it."

"As always." Michiru was laughing through her tears now.

"This time is the last time." Haruka made her decision the day she got to know about the her lover's illness. "I want to spend more time with you and our small princess. The race is no longer the most important thing in my life."

Michiru turned around and looked at the blonde in confusion.

"Hey, that doesn't mean that I'll give up my career as a racer. I just don't want to take part in this silly Grand Prix anymore." Haruka smiled at her lover but in her eyes were tears, as well. The blonde never cried. However, during the last few weeks she often did. Her daughter didn't notice it but she was very concerned about her lover. She couldn't thank Setsuna and Yaten enough, because both of them were there for her. They took care of Hotaru and they had always a comforting word for her. They were the only ones who knew the truth about Michiru's illness. The rest of the Sailor team got the to know the tale they told Hotaru.

"You're the most important person in my life." Haruka looked straight into deep blue eyes. Then she blushed slightly. "I don't know what I would have done when the operation would not have been that success. I need you, Michi-chan. I can't live without you." She took a deep breath and two tears ran down her red face. "But I can't heal your soul. Maybe your music can. Go on tour, Michiru and don't worry. I will wait for you here in Japan. I will always wait for you - as long as I live."

The smaller woman watched her lover in shocked silence. She'd never seen Haruka as sad as this time before. Her Ruka seemed always to be so strong, so independent. But she wasn't. Michiru knew her lover wasn't. They both weren't. Not without the other one.

"Please forgive me." Haruka whispered and glanced again at the stars above them. The clouds slowly disappeared and the full moon shone peacefully over the calm sea. The wind ran through her short blond hair and dried her wet face. "It's all my fault. If you hadn't loved me you would have been able to get your own child..."

"Shh..., Ruka." Michiru interrupted her lover and kissed her shortly on her shaking lips. "I've made my decision years ago and I'll never regret it."

"But you always wanted to have your own child one day..."

"Hey, we've got a little tomboy, don't we?" Michiru managed to smile at her lover then she kissed the blonde again. This kiss lasted longer than the first one.

The wind got stronger and the waves of the sea louder.

"I'll be back as soon as possible, love. But I need to get out for a while."

Haruka only nodded.

She stood there in darkness. In silence. All she could hear were the rushes of the ocean. It seemed to be far away. Endless. Without any border. Free like a bird flying through the deep sky, feeling the independent wind in his wings. Screaming out loud.

All she could see were the suitcases downstairs. They were packed and ready. Ready to go out of the front door. Ready to take the next plane that will lead them to Europe. Ready to leave her. Ready to take Michiru with them…

Haruka sighed then a thin smile appeared on her pale face. Ready to return some day! The smile faded.

Hopefully she would...

Hotaru was laying in her bed now, dreaming the sweet dreams of a child. She wasn't worried that her Michiru-mama went on tour. It was not for the first time and the little girl would call her up every day. With the faith of an innocent child Hotaru knew that her Michiru-mama would be with her all the time.

Haruka would have never admitted it but she did envoy her.

She winced as she felt the soft warm arms of her partner being wrapped around her. Holding her tight. Michiru didn't say a word. She didn't need to. She could feel the sorrow although Haruka was very good in hiding it behind her jokes, her laughter and her strength. However, her eyes couldn't lie. Michiru could see all the pain inside the deep green ones and suddenly wondered why she was going to leave the most important person in her life.

It is not forever!

Michiru leaned her head against the shoulder of the taller girl and closed her eyes. Here she felt safe and secure. Here with her lover. But these feelings faded whenever she met one of the others. When she had to talk to Usagi who blathered about her unborn Chibiusa. It did hurt to see all those happy women with their children in the park, in the supermarket or at university. The pain grew stronger and stronger in her and she knew that she had to see other places and take some time to think - and accept - to hold the promise she gave Hotaru.

And the bigger promise she once gave Haruka. She wanted to be with the blonde all her life. She loved her car racer, but to be really happy with her she needed to understand what happened to her body. Otherwise it wouldn't be fair to Haruka.

And to me...

"When does your plane leave?" The voice of Haruka was quiet. Too quiet for her tomboy. Michiru opened her eyes but she couldn't see her lover's face in the darkness.

"At eight in the morning."

"Then you should go to bed. Your fans don't want to see you yawning." It should have been a joke but none of them laughed.

"Hai." Michiru stood at her tiptoes and kissed the neck of the blond girl who shivered. "Come with me, Ruka. I don't wanna be lonely this night."

"You're never alone..." Haruka turned and stopped in motion. She saw the tears in these deep blue eyes she loved so much and understood.

"But you operation..." The taller girl stroke the sea green hair softly, her look was uncertain. Almost fearful.

"That's okay." Michiru smiled a tender smile. "I just need you so much..." Tears were running down the violinist's pale face and her small body trembled. "Sometimes I wonder why I am so stupid to go." She cried quietly. Haruka took her little senshi in her arms and rocked her gently.

"You aren't stupid, Michi-chan. You're simply hurt." One of Haruka's warm hands were placed on smaller woman's belly, the green eyes shone treacherously. "But it will heal. Trust me." Then she held her Michiru tighter and gave her a long and loving kiss.

It was in the middle of the night when Michiru woke up. After some moments she realised that she was alone. She opened her eyes and looked puzzled in the endless space around her. This wasn't their bedroom anymore. Where was she?

The violinist stood up quickly and her eyes widened as she saw the Sailor uniform she was wearing. When did she became Sailor Neptune? What was she doing here?

Where is Ruka?

"Hello? Is there anyone?" She shouted but no one answered. Nothing could be heard, not even her echo. It was so silent. Michiru wrapped her arms around her belly because she felt very lonely out of a sudden.

"Where is everyone?" She asked and her own voice sounded strange in her ears.

Maybe this is just a silly dream and I am still lying at home and sleeping deep and tight.

Michiru turned to the bed but it had disappeared.

She shook her head in disbelieve and sighed. Suddenly the ground shimmered in a soft blue light and she imagined it to be the sea. A great endless ocean. The waves rushed quietly and the young woman closed her eyes as she felt the cold but clear water on her naked feet. Wind ran through her sea green hair and her uniform. It almost caressed her and she felt safe and secure. Yes, this was the place where she belonged. In her ocean of dreams where no sorrows, no fears existed. No regrets. No more nightmares. This was where she could be free.

Michiru spread her arms to welcome the warm summer wind. She could smell the green leaves of the high trees, the fresh breeze of salty water and the sunny rays of lights from the endless heaven.

I wish I could fly!

Michiru took a deep breath and walked through the low water beneath her.

That's not fair of you, Michi-chan. That you move back in your own world. 

The voice was deep. And very sad. Michiru could remember these words. They changed her life forever.

And leave me here all alone. 

The young woman stopped and turned around. But there was no Haruka with her in her wide ocean.

"Sailor Neptune?"

Michiru spun around when she heard the high voice she knew so well. But it sounded different. Strange.

"I am glad to see you alive." Said the woman who stood suddenly next to her. Her blond hair half covered the white garment she wore. Michiru squinted. This was actually Princess Serenity but she looked older. And wiser. She looked more than a mother than a teenager.

"Don't worry, Sailor Neptune. I am from the future. I am your future Queen." Serenity explained and her bright blue eyes looked very sad.

"But why..." Michiru swallowed hard and felt suddenly very cold.

"I am here to prevent a great tragedy." Tears were shining in the innocent eyes of the older Usagi as she caught Michiru's hand as if she wanted to hold her back. To keep her by her side. As if she would never let her go...

The young woman realized that Usagi who wasn't a girl any longer had become very thin. Although she ate a lot and loved cakes very much she never became thick. She always was thin. But now she looked as if she almost had starved to death.

"Everyone told us that it was an accident. That the breaks of the truck were broken. That the driver didn't see you. That you weren't fast enough to get out of the way. The police told us this fairy tale. The others believed them. I guess they wanted to, but I couldn't. Neither did Haruka!" The hand which held her own did shake and tears were now running down the painful distorted face of the older Usagi. Deep shadows lay under her once bright shinning eyes. Now they were full of tears and despair.

Despair? Always laughing and loving Usagi was desperate? Sad? _Really_ sad? Okay, Usagi cried a lot. But she was never really sad. She fought against all injustices in the world, saved every friend who could be saved and protected the ones she loved. She was never really sad. Not when there was a battle that could be won. Not until there was the slightest chance of salvation. Not if there was still some hope.

"It was six days after Hotaru's fifteenth birthday. Haruka was so sad about your death. At the day of your funeral she told me that she had known that it would end like this. She was so desperate when she told me that you just waited until you thought that Hotaru would be old enough to live without you." More tears, the hand almost hurt Michiru's who just shook her head in disbelieve.

These words, they are not true. They can't be!

"She told me that you couldn't stand living with your greatest wish being unfulfilled. Haruka told me that you went in your own world leaving her alone."

Michiru swallowed hard. She could remember those words too well, but she had never wanted to...

"When Haruka left the funeral she looked strong but inside she was broken. Setsuna found her the next day in her bathroom. She did sliced her arms that night to follow you. Since that morning Hotaru had not spoken a word and even Chibiusa can't reach her. We're afraid that she will do such a silly thing, too." The last words where so quiet, so full of mourning that the violinist almost missed them. Usagi cried and her hand did hurt Michiru. Although she did not really notice it. She only stared at her future Queen in blank horror.

This all can't be true! Usagi is lying!

Michiru lowered her head and she could feel the tears on her cheeks, as well.

Usagi never lies. She simply isn't able to!

The young woman took a deep breath.

This must be a nightmare. Certainly! The next few minutes I'll be waking up and laughing about this silly dream and...

And if it's not an illusion? If it's reality?

To commit suicide?

Yes, she was upset about the illness that had forbidden her ever to make her greatest dream come true, how ever, she would never...

You wanted to! Admit it! After the operation you wanted to die!

But I decided to live. For Haruka and for Hotaru.

But did you decide to live for yourself?

Michiru sighed and she looked down at the older Usagi who cried with all the desperation of a person who lost one she loved.

Did you decide?

No...

"I don't want this to happen! It is unfair and so senseless." A bitter smile appeared on the older Usagi's wet face. "Sailor Pluto will kill me for doing this but I just want to see you happy. You and your little family. I am the Queen and it is my task to protect the people I love. And I do care a lot about you and Haruka, as you know, Michiru. I just can't let you die this way. Not for such a wish. No dream is it worth to give up everything." Her tear filled eyes once so empty and sad were now bright and full of hope. "I won't see anyone of you full of sorrow because of losing the other one! I won't bury anyone of you! I will never say goodbye when your time hasn't come!" The older Usagi took Michiru's pale face between her cold hands and looked straight into her deep blue eyes. Softly she wiped the tears away. Her glance was so wonderfully understanding.

"I will never see you dying this way, Michiru. I promise! But I can understand your pain. After Haruka told me the truth at your funeral I wondered what I would have done if I would have never got my little Chibiusa. Yes, I love my Mamo-chan very much, but I need my little sunshine, as well. I would miss her all my life if I would have never been able to get her." The older Usagi smiled with all her bright love, as she saw more tears burning in Michiru's eyes.

"That's why I will misuse my powers to make your greatest dream come true so that you will never get the silly idea to escape from life and the ones who love you. Who need you."

"But..." said Michiru with a broken voice. More tears ran down her pale cheeks. Normally she didn't cry that much, but normally she wasn't that unhappy.

"Don't worry. I've defeated enemies with my powers and saved the world more than once. I've protected so many people so it is just fair to save you this very minute." The older Usagi looked determined as she walked back some steps and raised her golden staff.

"But it is too late. I can't take your gift. I am no more able to..." Michiru went to her knees and covered her burning face with her icy hands. They trembled and quietly she started to sob. This was the chance of her life - and she had to let it pass by, because of this stupid illness. Because of the fact that she was no longer a woman. No real woman...

"I'll carry it."

Michiru raised her head as she heard the well-known deep voice. She looked surprised at her lover who suddenly stood right beside her. A tomboyish smile lay on her face, but the violinist could see a strong feeling in her lover's dark green eyes. Fear?

"Are you sure, Sailor Uranus?" asked the older Usagi who seemed to be confused. "Do you really want to make your partner's dream come true?" The future Queen went to Haruka and laid her hand on the strong shoulder. "Do you know what it means?" Her voice was soft - almost tender.

The blonde glanced at Michiru who still sat on the ground next to her then she simply nodded.

"I don't want to lose you. Not now and not in the future. If that's you greatest wish I will make it come true for you." The smile faded and Haruka's face got as serious as Michiru had never seen it before. "Or with you."

The older Usagi nodded happily. So everything was going to be fine at the end. At last!

Then she walked back some steps and raised her golden staff again. Bright light surrounded Sailor Neptune and Sailor Uranus.

Michiru heard the rushes of the waves, felt the warm water around her trembling body. The light changed its colour. Now it was as blue as the deep ocean. It tickled her and a smile appeared on her face under her tears. Then a small blue ball came outside her body. The violinist stretched out her shaking hands but she couldn't reach it. The ball headed toward the future queen. But it left a deep feeling behind inside Michiru's heart. The feeling of great luck and happiness.

Michiru looked over to her lover who simply stared at the orange light in front of her. Wind ran through her short hair and the costume. It sounded like the whisper of leaves falling to the ground. Haruka wasn't able to understand it. But it was so lovely, so gentle that she couldn't feel sorry for it to leave her.

She observed them as the two small balls of white light came out of their bodies and headed toward the future Queen

The older Usagi smiled hopefully and took the two lights in her right hand. They united to a taller ball and the bright light disappeared. The darkness came back to the endless space around them and Michiru managed to get back on her feet. Where was it gone? This ray of hope?

The violinist turned to her lover and looked straight in her pale face. Haruka seemed to be worried and she believed to know why.

"I never wanted to..." she tried to explain, but Haruka just kissed her and interrupted her apology.

"I love you." The blonde simply said and walked to the older Usagi who watched her with her great blue eyes filled with hope and friendship.

"Take care of your family. Always." With these words the future Queen gave the white light into Haruka's hands. It covered the taller girl for some moments. The car racer automatically closed her eyes. The wind grew stronger and the whisper of the leaves became a scream. High and young. A baby's cry after its mother...

Haruka opened her eyes and stopped to breathe as she saw the small body in front of her. It resembled Hotaru as they adopted her after the sudden death of Dr. Tomoe. However, the hair wasn't that dark. It looked brighter, more like the endless ocean. The small child winked and laughed happily. It's small hands reached out for her and Haruka took it into her strong arms. Big eyes looked faithfully up to the young woman's surprised face. They were as dark green as her own ones. Haruka smiled and her pale face got almost soft. She said something she didn't really understand to the small child and brought it to her strong shoulder. It was so tiny. So light.

The white light became more dazzling and Haruka closed her eyes.

Then it was gone.

Haruka looked thoughtfully down her empty arms then she remembered the words of her future Queen.

"I will Usagi. Forever." Haruka took the older Usagi's hands and squeezed them softly. "Thank you."

Michiru just watched with confusion but she couldn't help to return the encouraged smile on her lover's face when Haruka came to her, taking her into her strong arms and kissing her.

"Let's go home. Hotaru needs us." Michiru just embraced the taller girl and repeated the deep and loving kiss.

I will never leave her.

It was a promise she knew she would never break. No matter what happened to them in future.

The older Usagi laughed happily.

"I wish you all the best." She said with a knowing look at the couple. Then she turned around and vanished into the darkness. The future Queen knew that Sailor Pluto's angry voice would be heard all over the whole universe when she got to know that the rules of time had been broken. But Usagi didn't care. The only thing she cared about were the persons she loved. She would never let anything harm them.

A satisfied smile appeared an here face. Now she knew that this tragedy would never happen. Never! For this knowledge she would take every consequence. After all what could Sailor Pluto do? She was the Queen, wasn't she?

In the next moment she was gone.

Left were two women holding each other tight. Kissing each other. Knowing of loving the other one and being loved by her. For all times.

The great hall was very noisy. Busy people ran from one end of the airport to the other one. They were business men in grey suits and attacheé cases. Or they were simply tourists buying their last souvenirs before flying back home.

A small group stood outside the hectic crowd. A young woman could hardly fight back her tears. Her sea green hair fell down her small shoulders covering the back of her white dress. Finally she took her suitcases into her trembling hands and shook her head as another woman with short blond hair tried to help her.

"I wish you all the best for you tour." Setsuna smiled at the smaller friend with her wise knowing smile as if she wanted to say that everything would be alright. That everything would work out well in the end.

Somehow Michiru wondered if the senshi of time even knew the future. But if she did, Setsuna would have never told them. Wouldn't she?

"And don't miss any notes while playing!" Yaten squeezed gently her right arm looking right into her eyes. "We will listen to every concert they'll broadcast on TV. So be nice and don't do any stupidities in far away Europe."

"No more than you Three Lights, don't worry."

Yaten was so kind to blush slightly.

"So, my little darling." Michiru sighed slightly putting her suitcases back to the ground and going down on her knees. Then she took her small daughter into her trembling arms and held her tight for some moments that seemed to last an eternity.

"I'll miss you, mommy." Whispered Hotaru and her dark eyes were overflowing. Michiru swallowed hard. Her daughter hardly called her mommy instead of Michiru-mama. And when she did she needed her more than anything else on this wide world.

"I am with you. Every minute of your life, my honey."

Hotaru looked sadly at her mother - then a bright smile appeared on her face.

"I know." She replied and gave the violinist a big kiss on the pale cheeks. "Will you call me every day, mommy?" The little girl asked with a pleading expression an her face.

"Of course, I promise." Michiru kissed her small daughter on the forehead then she stood back on her weak legs not knowing how to say goodbye to her lover.

Silence fell upon the small group. It was louder than the noise around them. Yaten was the first one to break it.

"Hey, Hime-chan. Do you like ice cream?" he asked gently taking the small hand in his own. Setsuna and he exchanged glances. They understood each other without any words.

"Yes." The voice of the small girl was not very enthusiastic.

"How about a chocolate-ice?" helped Setsuna and smiled again her faithful smile. Hotaru only nodded, however, her small face brightened up.

"Okay but I wanna have two ice creams." She said loudly and wondered why her Haruka-papa didn't call her a blackmailer as she normally did.

"Maybe..." Yaten laughed quietly and took with his other hand the one of his girlfriend. Then the three of them went away to the next shop which sold the cold deliciousness.

"Air plane to Rome/Italy starts in half an hour! All passengers are asked to come to gate twenty!"

"I have to go now." Michiru said with a shaking voice and tried to take her suitcases. But Haruka was faster - as always. She wrapped her arms around her smaller lover holding her back.

"Don't leave me." She whispered with a sudden sob which stopped immediately. "Don't leave me this way." Michiru rose her head and looked straight into dark green eyes which shimmered wetly. "Hey, at least I want a goodbye kiss. Is that too much!" A tomboyish smile appeared on her lover's face, but Michiru knew that it was only a facade.

"No. Of course not..." whispered the small violinist and kissed her car racer light on the lips. Haruka held her tighter and the kiss got more passionate. It soon turned sweeter and both of them didn't want it to end. None of them wanted the other to leave. But the voice of the loudspeaker interrupted the tender kiss.

"I have to go now." Michiru stroke the blonde's hair and looked straight into Haruka's green eyes. "I wish you all the best for you Grand Prix of Japan." She said quietly and knew by the shadow that moved over her lover's expression that the races weren't important any longer. Yes, Haruka would go and win every battle on the race track, however, it wouldn't be the same without her Michiru being near the course to spur her on.

"Just come back until Christmas. That's all I ask of you." Haruka voice was very calm and Michiru shivered as she felt the icy hand that touched her own cold one. At the moment all flowers stood in blossom and spring had just begun. It would be a long time till winter came and brought the celebration of love.

"Don't worry. I know where I belong, Ruka. I belong to you and our little tomboy." Michiru smiled confidently and squeezed the icy hand a little bit harder.

"Okay. Then off you go to make your fans happy." The bright grin returned on the blonde's face as she took the suitcases and went with her lover to the gate where Michiru would disappear for the next months.

"And remember Yaten's words."

"I've never missed a single note in my entire life!" Michiru took over the heavy suitcases and felt weak and alone all of a sudden. "Hotaru isn't allowed to eat fast food every day and she must go to bed earlier than eight o'clock. Remember, she is just five years old! And please don't let her watch you racing the car. She is so afraid of you being involved in an accident that she would have nightmares. And don't forget her clarinet lessons each Monday and Friday and at the weekends you should..."

"Hush..." Haruka interrupted the stammer of her lover with a short but loving kiss. "I can handle this. I am a good daddy, don't you know? And I am not alone. Setsuna and Yaten will help me and don't forget the rest of the Sailor team. Usagi is crazy about our small princess and all the others love her."

"Yes, I know. I just..."

"Michiru-san!" A huge man stood behind the security waving his hand. It was Michiru's manager who was waiting for her.

There was this voice again and the violinist knew that she had about five minutes to get to her plane.

"I love you." Michiru gave her car racer a short desperate kiss then she went over to the security and soon disappeared. Haruka watched the empty place for some moments then she sighed and turned around.

"I love you too, my Michi-chan." She whispered and went back to look after their daughter.

As the plane left the ground Michiru looked out of the window and watched the world under her becoming smaller and smaller. Somewhere there was Haruka with their little tomboy. She left them behind. But she knew that it wouldn't be forever.

I will return.

Michiru thought of the sad look in Haruka's dark green eyes. But she didn't detain her. Instead she wished her all the best for her tour and assured her that their little princess were in good hands.

The violinist sighed and closed her eyes. She covered her still hurting belly with both hands and knew that it was the right thing she was doing.

I am lucky that Haruka is so understanding.

She imaged her lover standing an the airport, looking after the plane leaving Tokyo and Japan. The small girl in her strong arms was waving her tiny hands.

Arigatou.

"Is Europe far away?" Hotaru ate her ice cream and looked up to the blue sky above them.

"No, not very." Haruka held her little daughter tighter in her arms as they watched the planes fly into the endless horizon.

Setsuna and Yaten stood right behind her saying nothing. They were there when the others needed them. And Haruka knew that this time would be the hardest one. She was thankful of having such friends.

The next plane, a huge one with blue stripes on white underground, made it's way into the wide air. It was loud and heavy but at the same time quiet and weightless.

"Is that mommy's plane?" wanted Hotaru to know and continued eating her brown ice cream.

"Hai." Haruka's voice was not more than a whisper and it was a hard fight to hide her real feelings inside her. Hotaru was behaving so brave. She didn't want to concern her by crying.

"Bye, mommy." The small girl rose her two little arms and the ice cream fell upon the airport's stony ground. But Hotaru didn't care about it. She just watched the huge plane leaving Tokyo by waving her arms wildly.

Bye Michi-chan.

Haruka stood there motionless holding her small daughter who shouted up to the sky waving her mother goodbye.

I will wait for you.

A small tear burned in her eyes but she could fight it back. She squeezed her little princess softly and couldn't look down. After five minutes when the plane had already vanished into the blue sky she was still standing there, looking up into the air. Motionless, but full of stormy feelings.

I love you.

None of them remembered the strange dream they had shared the last night.


	3. Chapter 2 Beginning of June

**Chapter Two (Beginning Of June)**

It looked like it was going to be a hot summer. The sky was cloudless and the air very hot. The racing track shimmered in the bright light of the merciless sun shinning down the arena. Thousands of people sat around the track yelling loudly when the racers crossed the finish line. They ate ice cream and drank cold soda. Most of them wore base caps.

Normally the winners were allowed to take another lap across the arena and normally the best three racers enjoyed it. But this time the first car went into the box while the second and the third one continued their way on the hot asphalt. The crowd continued its yelling and the shinning of the sun seemed to be more intensive.

Haruka climbed out of her race car and stumbled toward the inner part of the box. She ignored the amazing looks of her team as she entered the nice and comforting shadow. With all her powers she opened the door and almost fell over her own feet as she entered the cool room.

She had about five minutes until her trainer would call her up to come to receive the price she had won this time. The woman knew she would use these few moments well.

Haruka took off her helmet and it hit loudly the marble underground. She didn't look into the mirror to see her pale face and her sweaty hair. Her body trembled and it was hard for her to open the door to the cabin.

Slowly she went down to her knees and threw up the food she ate for breakfast.

After she finished she leaned back on the nice cold wall and closed her eyes. Then she wrapped her arms around her belly and thanked God that her mind started to get clear again.

What happened on the track?

She could hardly remember when it started. Okay she didn't feel that well when she woke up in the morning. But she ignored it because today was the first important race of the Grand Prix of Japan. It was normal for her to be a little bit nervous. A car racer without nervousness was not a real car racer. The training in the morning was okay but she couldn't eat anything for lunch. Her stomach rebelled and so she let it be. Some hours later was the start. Everything went fine. She had the pole position and her opponents were far behind her - as always. She could keep up her fast tempo and got faster with every lap. She was fast - as fast as the wind. She nearly broke the track record.

And then...

What happened to me?

Haruka remembered in blank horror that her belly started to hurt and it got worse with every lap. She lost speed and her opponents reached her. It was at the last lap when she almost lost the control of her car and almost crashed into the wall. But she could tear her steering wheel around and saved the situation.

She didn't know how she reached the finish line but she actually did it. Without being killed.

Amazing!

Haruka choked again and sighed. It was not for the first time that she was feeling so ill. During the last few days she could hardly eat anything cooked. Hotaru neither. The little princess was always tired and couldn't sleep properly.

A thin smile appeared on the car racer's pale face. That's what paternity meant: To share everything with her little daughter.

So I'll share a flu with my little tomboy.

Haruka opened her eyes and looked through the window to the blue sky above. The next race would be in about two weeks. That was enough time to be strong again.

"Haruka?" The door opened and a tall young man with short brown hair entered the small room. He wore the same costume as the young woman. He was holding a similar helmet in his right hand. With the left one he ran over his dark eyes. "Is everything okay?" He asked concerned and waited impatiently in front of the cabin door.

"Yes. I think Hotaru is going to get a flu." Haruka came to her feet and opened the door. Confidently she smiled at the young man who was her team partner. He wasn't as good as she, but he was always under the best ten racers. And he was a loyal friend. From the first day he was friendly. And understanding. He didn't feel affronted that she was a woman - and Michiru, too. He liked to play with Hotaru when the small girl was at the track to watch her Haruka-papa racing the car.

On the other hand Haruka protected him from the trainer who could be a real devil when his racers didn't reach the speed he wanted them to drive at.

"You race although you're feeling ill?" The young man watched her with a more and more concerned look on his sun brown face. "That's irresponsible! What would your daughter think when you're in hospital because you didn't take care for yourself and caused an accident?"

"Thanks for your sermon, Hashitzou, but I am feeling fine now." Haruka went over to the washbasin and washed her face with pure cold water. "It won't happen during the next race."

I hope it.

"Okay. I forgive you. But only for this time! The next time I'll take you into my car and drive you home!"

Haruka looked at him in surprise. Then she nodded and found herself kneeling on the ground of the toilette within the next moment.

"Please promise me to go to bed for the next days and to go to a doctor." Hashitzou helped her up. Haruka couldn't look in his dark eyes. Finally she sighed.

"I promise."

Then the door was pushed open and a huge man stood on the threshold.

"What the hell happened?" He shouted but the loudness in his voice just covered his concern.

"Everything is okay. She's just a little cold. That's all." Explained Hashitzou to their trainer and gave Haruka her helmet back.

"I won, didn't I?" asked the young woman and the bright smile returned on her pale face. Her trainer just grunted then he went back into the warm sun.

"In five minutes they will honour the victors. I don't want to miss you there, Tenô-san!" he said with a cold voice and vanished in the bright light.

"Hai..." Haruka held her helmet tighter as she followed him ignoring the growing dizziness in her head.

"What the hell..." Haruka looked confused at Yaten who leaned against her silver Ferrari.

"Give me your keys." He seemed to be uncertain and looked anywhere but at the young woman in front of him.

"You won't drive my car!" shouted Haruka wildly and tried to push him away. But it didn't work.

Is Yaten becoming stronger?

Or am I becoming weaker?

"That's not my idea. Setsuna asked me to take you home."

"What is Setsuna thinking? Is she nuts? I just won a race and I can take care for myself, thank you very much!" Haruka tried to open the door and to sit down on the diving seat, but Yaten held her back.

"Please, Haruka. For Setsuna. She saw the race this afternoon on TV and was so concerned about the last lap that she doesn't want you to drive home alone."

Haruka looked straight into Yaten's green pleading eyes, then she sighed.

"This woman controls you too much." She finally said and gave the car keys into his smaller hands.

"Not more than you or the others." Smiled Yaten and seated himself behind the steering wheel. Haruka lowered her head and realized how tired she actually was when the car speeded up.

"Be careful! There is another car! And it seems to..." She screamed but they passed by and Yaten slowed down a little bit.

"And you call yourself a car racer!" joked Yaten but his eyes were serious.

"Yes, because I am one." Haruka turned her head to see out of the window to the near ocean. The steady rush of the waves remembered her of Michiru.

Michi-chan. I miss you.

It was now over two month that her lover had left her and went on tour through Europe. She had already visited Germany, Italy and Spain. Now she was going to give her next concerts in France. Paris. The city of love...

It had been the most terrible months in Haruka's entire life. She could hardly sleep in this huge, lonely bed. Although Michiru called her up every evening she felt alone. Hotaru was with her and there were the others of the Sailor team, as well, but life wasn't the same without her lover being with her.

"Mako and Minako were to see the doctor with Hotaru this afternoon." Yaten saw how Haruka spun around making a terrified face.

She's a good mother. Or father...

"Don't worry. I asked them because Setsuna was in the library and I had a rehearsal with the guys. The doctor says that she has a cold and will be soon recovered. He gave her some medicine. During the next weeks we should take attention that she will dry herself quickly after she leaves the water." Yaten remembered the hot day last week when they went for a picnic at the ocean near the house.

Haruka nodded then she glanced back at the endless sea next to the bending road. Silence fell over the car and Yaten didn't know what to say. What he should say. What he was allowed to say. Without hurting Haruka. The strong woman never showed any pain or hardly any other feelings. But Yaten knew that Haruka missed her Michiru like hell. That's what he would do if Setsuna would be that far away.

"What happened during the race? Setsuna was as concerned as I have hardly ever seen her before. She said you almost caused an accident."

I don't know.

Haruka looked back on the road. Finally she closed her eyes.

"I guess I have a cold, too. And it was very hot in the car." She sighed slightly and knew that everything she would do this evening would be going to bed and sleep. "But it's nothing to worry about. I'll be fine in about a week."

"Did you ask your doctor?"

"I will next time." Haruka didn't open her eyes because then Yaten would have noticed that she lied. But she didn't like these questions.

"Do so. Well, you know Setsuna." Yaten smiled. But he knew that he was as concerned as his girlfriend.

"What about your new song?" asked Haruka after a while and changed the topic. The young man ran through his silver hair with his free hand and grinned.

"You know Sejya. He always wants a love song. And Tahiki wants a serious one. So we argued half of the afternoon without any success. Now everyone goes home and writes his own song. Tomorrow we will discuss about the different versions and maybe we will find a nice one."

"What are your ideas?"

Yaten turned his head but Haruka sat there motionless with her eyes closed. The wind ran through her short blond hair. For a moment she looked fragile. But the moment was gone as fast as it appeared. The young man blinked then he concentrated again on the road.

"I don't know. Sejya always wants to sing about a girl and a boy who meet for the first time and fall desperately in love with each other. And Tahiki wants to sing about the death of a loving person. He's too theatrical sometimes. I think over a song about a person who is together with the one he loves for a long time. Maybe an old grandfather who watches his wife cradling their grandchildren, and he thanks God for having shared his whole life with her. Maybe he thanks God that she is still at his side and when she will leave him one day he can be sure that she will wait for him in heaven. Because they're both grown old together."

There was no answer from Haruka and Yaten wondered if she fell asleep or thought that this was a silly topic for a song.

"Well, I guess it's a very strange idea for song of a boy group, isn't it?" He imagined Sejya singing such a song and couldn't fight back a wicked grin on his young face. Yes, everyone would believe him being young and in love. But old and still in love, too? With an old woman next to his side? Cradling his grandchildren? No, that was unthinkable. At least yet.

"You love Setsuna really, don't you?"

Yaten turned his head as he heard the quiet voice beside him. Haruka's eyes were still closed but a smile laid on her pale face.

"Yes, I do." Yaten answered truly and his grin widened and got more tender. Everyone declared him being nuts as he begun this relationship with the serious, green haired senshi of time. Because Setsuna was about a head taller than him. And she was nearly ten years older.

But Haruka had the opinion that every love was okay - if it's true love. She protected Yaten and Setsuna. Once she fought with Sejya and almost broke his right arm.

After this incident Usagi spoke a sharp word with every senshi and after this discussion their relationship was accepted. Or at least no one actually said anything bad about it any longer. But the glances of the other Star Lights were sometimes more than clear.

After a some minutes while they drove along the road near the beach Haruka opened her eyes and looked at Yaten. Her smile was as bright as ever but her eyes were a little bit darker. More serious than normal. As sad as they were since Michiru left for Europe.

"I'd like your song very much." She declared, then she watched the endless ocean again.

Yaten nodded thankfully while the melody slowly evolved in his head.

"That's cuuuute!" Usagi looked down at the tiny pyjama in her hands. It was of a deep blue with sparkling stars all over it. "Thank you, Haruka!" She embraced the taller woman so fast that Haruka couldn't react. She felt the arched belly against her own as Usagi squeezed her hard for some moments. Then the small Queen sat back and took a deep breath. It was too hot for her and Chibiusa drudged wildly inside her swollen body.

"I bought it for Hotaru once but she grew too quickly too tall to wear it."

Haruka sat down at the large table. All senshi were on the huge terrace looking with loving eyes at their pregnant Queen. During the next weeks Chibiusa would be born and they all could hardly wait to see the tiny Princess of future Crystal Tokyo.

Today it was Usagi's birthday and there was a huge mountain of presents piling behind her chair. There were mostly baby cloths and teddies for the unborn Princess.

"Keep sitting, dear. I'll do it." Mamoru gave his wife a short but loving kiss, then he offered their guests coffee or milk.

"Haruka-papa! Look what I've done!" Hotaru ran from the garden to her father and sat down on Haruka's knees to show her the flowers in her hand. They looked like a small body in the young woman's eyes. Maybe Chibiusa.

"How was the training?" asked Setsuna and took place next to the car racer. Haruka wanted to answer but she was interrupted by Rei.

The young priest gave Ami a warning look. "Mizuno! Close this book! Immediately!" The young woman with short blue hair blushed deeply and put a big book aside.

"Hai." She whispered and bowed her head.

"And you! Can't you wait! Just this one time?" Rei's voice got louder and Minako stopped chewing at this very moment. The cake in front of her was missing a cherry and the young woman looked ashamed.

"Can't we just wait until everyone gets his drink? That's not too much what I've asked for, is it...?" Rei's voice got more and more quiet until she stopped speaking. Usagi was grinning her bright innocent smile at her. At the top of the cake were now two cherries missing. Usagi's mouth was redder than normal.

"Why do I care?" asked Rei to the world in general, but then she returned her friend's smile that faded as the three boys continued their arguing.

"Oh, just SHUT UP!" Rei stood up and shouted loudly through the entire garden. The boys from the famous boy group Three Lights looked up to her in disbelieve and three sheets of paper fell upon the ground.

"That's better." Satisfied Rei sat back. "Then let's begin." She took a great piece of cake, just like the others did.

"Hm! That's delicious!" She shouted chewing.

"That's good." Makoto blushed and laughed happily.

"How was your training?" After a while of silent eating Setsuna remembered her question, ignoring her boyfriend who started to discuss again with his two friends about the new song. They actually couldn't decide about one version.

"But a tragic moment in life is..." started Tahiki but was interrupted by Sejya. "Hey, that's what no one wants to hear. Young girls want to hear that they are loved by young attractive men!"

"Men like you, yes?" Tahiki took his sheet of paper and held it towards Seiya's face who got angrier. Yaten just sighed and looked up to the bright blue sky.

"It was okay. The trainer thinks that we have a good chance to win the race on Sunday."

"That's in two days." Ami looked down her watch counting the days.

"Hai. This time it's in the Great Hall of New Tokyo." Haruka studied her own piece of cake and the aching in her belly returned. The same did the nausea. She pushed her dishes aside and instead continued to feed her daughter. Hotaru got over the cold and was now as strong and wild as normal. But somehow Haruka didn't get over her own cold. The dizziness stayed and it got harder and harder for her to drive the race car properly in her state. She couldn't hardly eat and these lonesome nights were the worst. Almost every morning she had to throw up the few things she ate for dinner.

Maybe I should go to the doctor. Maybe Setsuna and Yaten are right.

"I wish you luck." Rei smiled and took her second piece of the cake. Haruka watched her and her belly ached more and more.

"Thank you." She answered and drank a bit of her milk. She stopped drinking coffee a week ago. This seemed to support the pain inside her body.

"... and then the doctor gave us this photo." Usagi smiled proudly at the ultrasound picture of small Chibiusa inside her body. "Hey, small lady! That's too wild for your old mother!" She put both hands upon her swollen belly and her happy look met the happy one of Mamoru. "She starts arguing with me before she is born." Usagi sighed gladly. "It's good that she soon will be born. Because I missed her all those long years." All at the table agreed and Minako started telling stories about Chibiusa when she came from the future to mess up their entire lives. But now they were very happy to have her back again. Because some years ago the future Chibiusa returned to the 23rd century and wasn't allowed by the Neo Queen Serenity to return. It was hard for Usagi because she loved her future daughter very much.

That's why Usagi was the happiest woman of the world when she got to know that she was pregnant. That was about eight months ago.

Hotaru left her father's knees and came to the smiling Queen and looked too serious for such a small girl at the Usagi's big belly.

"Do you want to feel her?" The young woman stroked the dark hair of the smallest senshi and took the tiny hands in her own and held them to her belly. In that very moment Chibiusa got bored inside her mother's body and kicked against the belly. Hotaru looked up in surprise and met the Usagi's lucky shinning eyes. Her blond long hair shimmered in the afternoon sun and with her white dress she almost looked like an angel.

"That's my little Chibiusa." Declared the Queen and squeezed the small girl's small hands.

"Hello, Chibiusa." Hotaru returned the young woman's bright smile and carefully caressed the swollen belly. Chibiusa kicked again. "I hope you love playing cards. Last birthday I got a very good card game." Hotaru whispered mysteriously. The senshi around the table began to laugh and Mamoru gave the future Sailor Saturn a warm smile. As they had been in their last lives Chibiusa and Hotaru would become the biggest of friends.

Haruka watched her daughter in silence. A sad expression appeared in her green eyes as she remembered why Michiru went on tour through Europe and America. This was a scene Michiru would never experience. She would never have her own child. And Hotaru would never have her own brothers and sisters.

Haruka winced as the pain increased. She stood up quietly not interrupting the happy scene and slowly went into the huge light house that was surrounded by a great garden at the edge of Tokyo. It was a little bit colder inside and the noise of the laughing voices faded slightly. Haruka took a deep breath and opened a door to the light bathroom. Quietly she closed it and went into her knees as she had done almost every day during the past weeks. The cold of her daughter was over but Haruka was still feeling weak and ill.

That's not good.

She took another deep breath but still the nausea increased.

In two days there's the next race. Until Sunday I should know what's wrong with me.

Haruka looked up to the window as the nausea reached it's climax and threw up her breakfast. She choked for some time, then she sat back on the cold tiles. She didn't tell anyone. Not even Michiru at the telephone. She didn't want to concern anyone. But as the days passed and nothing changed _she _got more and more concerned.

Michi-chan's first symptoms were as innocent as this, too.

Haruka shivered and her eyes filled with tears. She was so tired!

Maybe it's a worse flu than Hotaru's and needs more time to recover.

The young woman sighed. She couldn't believe her own lies anymore.

Better I'll go to the doctor tomorrow. Then I am ready for the next race.

Haruka sighed and came hard to her feed. Her legs trembled and she felt as weak as she had never felt in her entire life. Slowly she opened the wardrobe to take a towel to wash and dry her sweaty pale face.

Or I am ready to go to hospital for a long time.

Haruka took the towel and scolded herself for being so stupid. She was okay. Hotaru needed her and Michiru was on tour. She wasn't allowed to be ill.

The young woman froze in motion as she saw the small box next to the stack of towels. Startled green eyes looked down at a package of sanitary towels. She actually couldn't remember her last period. It never had been irregular. Never...

Haruka went down to her knees again and shook her head in disbelieve. Then she covered her burning face with her ice cold hands.

"Congratulations. You are pregnant."

"What?" Her dark green eyes grew wide as she stared at the doctor in disbelieve. "Are you sure?"

"Hai." The doctor behind the desk looked up from his papers as he heard the confusion in his patient's female voice. "Wasn't it planned?"

Wasn't it planned!

Haruka thought of Michiru playing the violin. Of Michiru laughing at her. Of Michiru caring for their daughter. Of Michiru holding her tight. Of Michiru loving her...

How could it be planned when it was impossible!

"Planned?" Haruka voice was very quiet as she asked this stupid question in return. Her startled green eyes watched the doctor in confusion. "Planned?" Then she started to laugh. A desperate laugh. An almost mad laugh. It stopped as quickly as it started.

"Oh, then it was..."

"Some doctors told me that I would never be able to have children." Explained Haruka. Well no doctor ever said to her that she was infertile, but naturally it was impossible for two woman to have their own child. And Michiru had been the only person in her life. Her only lover. "So you are really sure?"

"Hai." A confident smile returned on the doctor's surprised face. If that was the young woman's only problem he could solve it. For some moments he had almost feared that she didn't want this child. That she would abort it. The man loved his job and he loved to be a doctor, as well. But aborting children was the hard thing about this job. He avoided it where ever he could. But sometimes...

"But how..." The young woman in front of him looked down at her slim body and touched her belly in disbelieve. She was very pale with a sudden and still shook her head for a few times.

"Well there's a simple explanation, Tenô-san. All those other doctors were wrong. That's normal. We doctors are just humans as all the other people, too. Aren't we?" He smiled a warm understanding smile. Then he laid one hand upon her shoulder.

"If you don't trust me, I'll show it to you. Normally I use the ultrasound at the second session but your case seems to be special." He smiled and Haruka followed him with weak legs. The underground of the narrow bed was cold but she didn't really notice it. Her thoughts spun around and her head began to ache. She covered her tired eyes with her cold right hand and the darkness that surrounded her was pleasant.

Automatically she uncovered her slime belly with her left hand and shivered as she felt the cold fluid upon her skin.

"Does your husband know about it?"

Husband? A yeah. The ring I wear. Michiru gave it to me the very day she decided to love me. And I wear it since we are a family together with our small princess.

But she'd never really had the courage to ask Michiru to become her wife.

"No."

She can't know it. How? I've never expected...

Again she shook her head in disbelieve. "I told you that we didn't expect this."

"Did you use any contraceptive?"

A weak smile appeared on Haruka's face.

Why should we have used it? What for?

The smile got more ironically.

_How_ should we have used it?

"No. And we're together for so many years now."

"Then your husband will be very glad about it, won't he?"

Haruka thought at her Michi-chan and panic grew inside her.

What if she doesn't believe me? What if she doesn't want to be the father of this child? Or the mother? Or whatever she would be? What if she leaves me calling me a swindler? A whore?

No she would never call me this way!

Haruka swallowed hard and tears burned behind her icy fingers inside her eyes.

She would never, would she?

How could Michi-chan believe me when I can't believe it by myself?

"When did you have your last period?" She heard the doctor's voice from a far distance and some machines made high peeping noises. Haruka swallowed hard then she counted the weeks Michiru was away on tour.

"About two or three months I guess."

This must be a dream!

Haruka sighed slightly. She couldn't decide whether it was a wish becoming true or the beginning of a real bad nightmare. One she would not awake from.

"Then you must be about in the tenth or eleventh week. Hai, that can be. The size is about the right one." Said the doctor in his steady calm voice. "If you want to risk a look...?"

Haruka opened her eyes and stopped to breathe as she saw the picture on the monitor next beside her. It was black and white. Most of the screen was black but in the middle there was a small white spot. It was in motion.

"Well you can't actually see anything special but you can see that it is there and that all those other doctors were wrong. Congratulations." Repeated the doctor and smiled happily. His smile faded as the young woman pushed the scanner away from her belly and sat up. Her face got paler and before she covered it again with her cold hands he could see the tears sparkling in her green eyes. She shook her head twice then she staid motionless. Silent. Unbelieving.

The doctor took the scanner and the expression of his old face became sadder.

"If you don't want this child you should decide quickly. If you're right and your last period is nearly three months ago you only have one or two week to abort it." His voice became very quiet. He hated this part of his job but sometimes he couldn't avoid it. It was the decision of the women who came to him. Not his own ones...

The young woman looked up and he feared that she would faint. She was whiter than the wall behind her. She bit on her lower lip and her green eyes watched him in blank horror.

Abort Michiru's child...?

I am not crazy!

"Please come back next week when you made your decision. My nurse will make an appointment with you." The doctor's voice was colder now but Haruka didn't notice it.

Abort Michiru's child?

She survived this dangerous operation and now a wonder happened. Yes, it must be a wonder because no one else than the young violinist could be the father of this baby. Or the mother. Or whatever...

I can't kill this wonder! Michiru's greatest dream...

Haruka thought of Hotaru and how this little girl changed her life.

I guess my small princess will be glad to get a brother or sister. And Michiru...

The young woman wasn't sure about her lover's feelings. Neither was she sure about her own feelings. But she would handle it. Somehow.

"There's no decision to make." She whispered and silence fell upon the room. The doctor nodded in disappointment, then he stood up and wanted to take away the ultrasound.

Haruka watched him and a thin smile appeared on her pale face as she laid back on the cold underground.

"May I have a picture?"

It was silent on the beach. The full moon shone down at the dark sea. The only sounds heard were the rushes of the waves and the singing of the birds. The last lights of day faded and night fell upon the world.

The young woman sat in the warm sand and watched the wide ocean in front of her. Slowly she drew her knees up to her chest, wrapping her arms around them as if to shield herself from some dangerous force. Wind blew and she slightly shivered in her thin summer clothes. In one hand she held a crumpled sheet of paper as if it was her only life line. As if only it could rescue her from anything bad.

"Michi-chan." She whispered softly, cradling herself. "I miss you." Then she lowered her head and stared at her own feet.

I can't tell her about it. That would be unfair.

Haruka sighed and nodded thoughtful. Michiru needed her time in Europe and America to recover. To understand what happened to her body. Then she would have the power to understand what happened to her lover's body.

You're just frightened of how she will react!

Haruka stood up with a sudden movement and started to run as she always did when she couldn't find a perfect solution. Or any solution at all. When she was confronted with a messy situation where she was helpless. She ran about ten minutes, then she had to stop. Desperately she looked out to the calm ocean while she gasped for breath. In the last weeks she got tired very fast.

That's not normal.

Haruka thought at the paper in her hand and a weak smile appeared on her now reddened face.

Now it is normal. Normal for the next six or seven months!

Six months. That was enough time for Michiru to recover and for herself to win the Grand Prix.

And after that time?

The smile grew brighter when she remembered their little baby-Hotaru almost five years ago. Michiru had been on tour to Hiroshima when Dr. Tomoe died. Haruka took the crying girl home with her and decided to adopt her. She didn't want Hotaru to grow up the lonely way she did. The young violinist agreed with her and a day after Michiru returned from her tour they bought the first clothes for the tiny baby and a wonderful cradle with white curtains and a big teddy on the blanket. They were good parents to Hotaru and the little girl loved them with all the love a small child possessed.

Haruka couldn't imagine her life without her little daughter.

Why shouldn't we be able to handle another child? It can't be wilder than our sweet princess, can it?

Haruka laughed as she remembered that she was one parent of this child that grew inside her body. The laughter stopped.

And if Michiru doesn't believe me? Because it's impossible for two women to have their own child!

The young car racer looked down at the picture in her hand. The wind ran through her short blond hair and the wide shirt she wore.

It is possible. But somehow...

How will the others react?

Haruka took two steps until she stood in the fresh soft water. She decided to tell no one about the baby until Michiru returned. And Michiru would return when she thought that it was on the time.

At least she promised to be back before Christmas. And the child won't be born before New Year.

Haruka walked through the water for some minutes. It wasn't the best solution she found but it was an idea to begin with. In about three or four months they all would know. But until that time she would hide it and live her life as she always had done.

Well not quite the same way...

The car racer stroked some blonde strands out of her dark green eyes and a the first happy smile this day appeared on her face that wasn't pale any longer. She looked down at her body and the smile grew wider.

Congratulations... she heard the low voice of the doctor in her ears.

"Welcome to this world, little Michi-chan." She whispered and slowly returned to the silver Ferrari that was parked near the beach. It was late. She should go home. Surely her small princess was waiting for her and Setsuna and Yaten, too. They both were certainly full of concern. And anger. Because Setsuna didn't like her coming too late for dinner. Especially when she wanted to cook her favourite meal.

Yes this place was a special one. With all those wonderful people in it. The Sailor team was the best family Haruka could imagine. Maybe they would be shocked for the first moment or two, but when they'd accepted the baby they would be as crazy about it as they were about Hotaru and Chibiusa.

As Haruka sat down behind the steering wheel, she caressed her belly as if she wanted to greet the new life there.

How cuuute! She could almost hear the exited voice of Usagi. And the other voices, too.

When will it be able to eat my cake? 

It's too young for your cooking! It doesn't even has any teeth. But, may I lecture it a fairy tale? 

How boring! I want to sing a song for it! That's more interesting! 

I made this talisman for it. 

How cuuute! 

We've decided to write a song for it. Really? No one told me! I think it's not tragic enough! But I like it! So keep silent! 

I will protect it with my life. I will care for it as I do for the others. 

I want to play with it, Haruka-papa. 

It looks like it's mother. The last voice was deep and belonged to Mamoru.

Oh Michiru ...

Haruka sighed but the smile didn't fade.

"You will love them." She laughed as she turned the key and speeded up and drove away.

For the first time she didn't cross the speed limit.

The meal was delicious. Hotaru talked the entire time about the shopping she had done with Ami and Minako in the afternoon. She showed the tiny bunny she got from the two around with pride.

After dinner Yaten disappeared into the rooms they lived during the time Michiru was on tour and Setsuna cleaned the dishes. Haruka washed her small princess and got her ready for bed.

"Just one more tale. Pleeeease, Haruka-papa." The pleading expression in her daughter's eyes made her smile softly. She could hardly say no to the small girl's wishes.

"Okay. But afterward you will sleep and dream."

"I promise. And I will dream of Michiru-mama."

The smile of Haruka became a trace more sadder but then she started the fairy tale about a young hero who had to go through many adventures until he finally got the woman he loved. Hotaru clapped into her hands and laughed as her father imitated the different persons of the tale.

"Good night, Haruka-papa." She finally said as the fairy tale was over.

"Good night, honey." The young woman gave her daughter a soft kiss on the forehead, then she switched off the light and left the room.

Slowly she entered her room. As every night she bravely tried to ignore the huge lonely bed but as every night it didn't work. Haruka looked at the picture in her hands, then she put it under the soft pillow.

It's late.

The car racer looked down her watch and took the cell phone in her right hand.

But it's never too late to call her up.

"Haruka?"

She turned in surprise because she didn't hear him enter. Yaten already wore his silver pyjama as he came quietly over to her.

"What did the doctor say?" he asked as he sat down next to her watching her seriously with his light green eyes. They didn't tell Hotaru that she had to go to the doctor because the small child got worried very fast. Especially since her mother had been on hospital for a long time.

Shall I tell him?

"He said that everything is fine." Haruka decided not to tell Yaten the truth. Shortly after all of the Sailor team would know, and the young woman needed some time on her own to understand it.

"It was just a bigger cold than Hotaru-chan's. I will be soon recovered."

In about six or seven months.

Yaten watched her for some moments in silence and she suddenly felt uncomfortable.

"Really?" he asked.

"Would I lie to you?" Haruka couldn't look into these concerned eyes any longer so she played with the cell phone in her hands.

"No. Certainly not." Yaten yawned. It had been a hard day although it had been a Saturday.

"Are you still arguing over this new song?"

"Hai. You know Sejya. He just can't stand singing for an old woman." The young man laughed in memories. "Sometimes I wonder how we ever could start this Three-Light-Thing. But it seemed to have worked until know."

"And you will overcome this argument, too."

Yaten looked at the young woman who still played with the phone.

"Sure." He replied and laid some sheets of paper down next to her on the soft blanket. "If you want to read it, I tried some lines." Yaten stood up and slowly went to the door.

"Haruka?"

"Yes?"

As the young woman looked up he could see that she was very tired although she tried to hide it.

"Be careful on the track tomorrow. Hotaru needs you."

And Setsuna and I need you, too.

"I will be." The young woman promised and dialled her lover's number.

"Good night, tomboy." Yaten left the room and closed the door quietly. Haruka could hear him walking down the staircase to the rooms he shared with Setsuna.

"Good night, crazy singer." She whispered towards the closed door.

We're glad to have you with us. You're a tender lover for Setsuna. I've never seen her that happy in all those years I know her. And you're a loyal friend for us all.

Then she took the papers in her left hand. Shortly she studied the notes and hummed the sweet melody.

Yes. I'll like this song.

"Michi-chan?" she asked as the ringing of the cell phone stopped and she could hear a sleepy voice at the other end of the line. "Hai, I know it's quite late and you'll have another concert tomorrow, but..." The voice became more exited and Haruka laid back on the soft blanket and closed her eyes imaging that her lover would be right beside her and not that far away.

"No, nothing happened. I just wanted to hear your voice again and..." Haruka smiled as her violinist interrupted her. Her hand stroked thoughtfully over her belly as she listened to her small senshi on the other end of the world. Her lips curved in a tired smile.

"I love you too, my Michi-chan..."


	4. Chapter 3 Ending of June

**Chapter Three (Ending of June)**

Michiru stood in her changing room. Motionless, wer blue eyes wide open. Her right hand held her favourite Stradivarius and the left one the remote control. She was already wearing her dark blue evening dress. Her stilettos laid next to her naked feet.

The violinist frowned slightly while she watched colourful race cars doing their job on TV.

What is she doing?

Haruka was leading - as always. But she changed her style. Normally she drove like crazy. Every lap was a challenge for her. She wanted to break the track record time of every arena she started at. That was why her racing style often looked quite dangerous.

Michiru knew that racing such a fast car was indeed very dangerous, but Haruka couldn't leave any chance to reach her limits. And sometimes to cross them...

Haruka was as fast as the wind and she wanted to prove it with every single race. Even with every single training. Michiru often argued with her about her silly behaviour, but she couldn't change her. So she just stood quietly beside the track and hoped that her lover would survive the race - healthy.

That was the reason why the violinist didn't want Hotaru to watch Haruka race. However, often enough she couldn't avoid it, because Hotaru could be as wild as her papa.

This time, however, Haruka showed another style. Yes, she was on the pole position and Michiru bet that her lover wouldn't lose this race - as so many races before - but her opponents were near behind her. Normally Haruka was about half a lap ahead, but today only a few meters separated them.

She's slower than normal!

Michiru shook her head and held the violin tighter in her suddenly cold hands. After all those arguments, after all those fears Haruka finally decided to become more careful.

But why?

The young woman winced as the door was pushed open and her manager stood on the threshold.

"Hurry up, Michiru-san. Your concert starts in about five minutes." He said and smiled happily. "Those French people outside are crazy about you. They already cry out their wishes what they want to hear."

Michiru just nodded but couldn't take her eyes off the screen.

"Oh, Haruka-san is racing?" The manager came nearer and thoughtlessly cleaned his classes on his shirt's sleeve. "And she's winning as always." He declared as the white race car crossed the finish line. "Now, hurry up!" he declared determinedly and switched off the TV.

The young woman took her stilettos and followed him. Her deep blue eyes were clouded with thoughts as she walked down the long corridor that lead her toward the stage.

Hai, Ruka has won the race.

But she has not been as fast as the wind.

"What the hell was _that_?"

Haruka looked bored into her trainer's redden face. He gesticulated wildly with his arms as he shouted at her. Hashitzou stood next to her and wanted to defend her, but she stopped him with a sign.

"I actually won this race, didn't I?" She asked in a bored voice and held up her trophy. Then she turned and wanted to leave the room, but her trainer's angry screams stopped her.

"With that attitude you will never be world champion!"

Haruka spun around and stood next to the manager at the next moment. She was about half a head taller than him and could look very impressive if she wanted to. Now her face was slightly redden, as well.

"I was it the past three years!" she replied loudly.

"And now you want to give up? Just like this?"

"I won this race!" repeated Haruka dangerously quiet and clenched her fists. "And I will win the Grand Prix of Japan."

"But with that style you will never be able to win the world championship!"

The two stared into each others eyes like wild tigers ready for the big jump. Hashitzou watched from one to the other and didn't know what to do first. What to do best.

"I never talked about the world championship, did I?" said Haruka finally but didn't look away.

"But..." The trainer got paler and searched for words. "What..."

"Don't worry. You still have Hashitzou. He's good enough to be my successor." A bright smile appeared on her tomboyish face. "After all I have never said I'd leave the team. I just don't want to risk more than necessary. After all I'll win the Grand Prix. That isn't that bad, is it?" Her smile grew wider as no one said responded anything. Or reacted physically.

"If that's all I'll go now. I've got other things to do." She waved her goodbye and left the room.

After she closed the door she leaned against it and took a deep breath.

You knew that it wouldn't be easy.

Haruka looked down at the trophy in her hand and knew that there were more important things waiting for her. This wasn't the end of her dream. It was just the end of her career. No, not the end - just an interruption.

The car racer glanced at her belly under her wide jumpsuit, then she walked away out into the burning sun shinning down from a cloudless endless sky.

But it's worth it!

"Tell me that's not true!" whispered the trainer after some moments in stunned silence. He shook his head in disbelieve. "This can't actually be true!"

Hashitzou stood next to him and put his right hand upon the old man's shoulder comfortingly. He watched the closed door and smiled as he thought of the young woman with sea green hair and the wild little girl who often bounced innocently smiling next to the track. He could remember the fearful look of the violinist too well.

"Accept it. Our wildest racer finally grew up."

The piano's soft noises filled the air as Setsuna entered the house by the sea. She put the bags she was wearing down on the table in the kitchen and went upstairs to the room where the sweet melody evolved. Noiselessly she opened the door. Haruka sat at the black piano and played with her eyes closed. It was the first time since Michiru went on tour that Setsuna heard the car racer play.

The class door which lead to the balcony outside was wide opened and the setting sun's red light covered the white carpet, making it glow golden. Fresh wind played with the long curtains and with the dark hair of the little girl who sat next to the door on the huge couch. Hotaru looked concentrated down to the cards in her lap. She already wore her violet pyjamas. Quietly she hummed along to the melody. Haruka seemed to have played the notes for several times this evening.

"Setsuna?" Haruka stopped and looked up in surprise. "I didn't hear you come. Is anything wrong?"

"No everything is fine." The senshi of time came nearer and stroked the little girl's soft hair. "I just wanted to tell you that I'll go to the concert now."

Haruka nodded.

"The Three Lights are in the Concert Hall this evening, aren't they? And you want to see your sweet Yaten sing."

"Hai." Setsuna had the decency to blush, but her dark eyes shone happily.

"Then off you go. I don't wanna detain you from being together with the one you love." Haruka returned to the page that was lying on the black wood, but she didn't really need it. She already knew the melody by heart.

"What's this?" Setsuna came next to the young woman and looked down to the tiny notes. She loved music but she had never been able to read it.

"It's Yaten's new song. That's why they're arguing all time. Everyone wrote his own song and now they can't decide which one they should sing." Haruka laughed amused but quickly her face got serious again. "I guess Yaten wrote his one for you."

The senshi of time took the paper in her hands and slowly read the words written under the notes. A tender smile appeared on her face, then she gave it back to the young woman who watched her silently.

He did not only write it for me.

"Will you call Michiru up this evening?" she asked instead.

"Of course." Haruka's dark green eyes suddenly shone sadder.

Of course she will.

"And now hurry up! Otherwise your lover will be very upset when he won't find you among the fans of Three Lights."

"I will." Setsuna promised and left the room after she kissed Hotaru good night. At the door she turned around again.

"Congratulations to your victory on the track this day." She said.

"Thanks." Haruka laid her hands again on the piano's keys, ready to start her playing again. "Green is actually your best colour."

"Hai..." replied Setsuna confused as she looked down at the dark green evening dress she was wearing. She was confused about the indifference of Haruka's voice. Usually Haruka was very proud of every victory she gained. Today, however, it almost seemed as if the sport wasn't important anymore.

I have to talk to her.

Setsuna glanced down at her watch and realized that she was about half an hour too late to get to the Concert Hall in time.

Next time I'll have a long talk to her.

"Bye." She spun around and ran downstairs, taking two steps at once. The door was slammed as she left the light house by the sea in a hurry.

"Bye..." Haruka closed her eyes again and started to play the sweet melody. Yaten wrote this song with all his feelings. With all his heart. With all his love for Setsuna.

Love... The young woman sighed as she thought of Michiru who was that far away.

I really miss you!

She went on playing and suddenly knew why this song wasn't finished yet. Something was missing. The rush of the near ocean faded and the only thing she heard was the piano's soft sound - and a violin's tender melody. Haruka opened her eyes and could almost see Michiru standing beside her. She smiled her tender smile at the young car racer. Then she closed her deep blue eyes and continued to accompany Haruka's play. They fit together. Like the sea and the wind...

The ringing of the telephone interrupted Haruka. She winced and the violinist next to her disappeared with the wind out to the endless ocean.

"Hai?" she took the cell phone and watched Hotaru who left the couch and came to her. The little girl smiled, because she knew that only one person would call them up at this hour.

"Funny, dear. This very moment I've thought of you, and I guess our small princess, too."

Michiru stood on her hotel room's balcony and watched the lights of London at night. Last day she left France after her concert and now she was in good old England. She loved the historical city's flair, but it wasn't quite the same without her Ruka and her little darling being by her side.

Hotaru-chan would have loved the great Ferris wheel next to the river Thames. And Ruka would have loved the wild traffic, especially around Piccadilly's Circus.

The violinist dialled the number. She slightly shivered as the wind ran through her yellow pyjamas which belonged to Haruka. The sky above was full of stars and the horizon already changed it's colour. It. was late at night, almost the next morning again, but she couldn't sleep. And she knew that it would be bedtime for Hotaru in Japan.

"It's nice to hear you." She said and couldn't fight back the tears which suddenly shimmered in her eyes.

I must be crazy to be that far away.

She sighed slightly and listened to her daughter's existed voice on the other end of the line. Hotaru told her all about the events that happened in the kindergarten and about her life without her mother...

"No I am not crying!" she replied helplessly as her Ruka returned to the cell phone and took a deep breath.

"How the concert was? Fine. The French people loved my music. Now I am in England. I arrived late at night and now it's almost dawn. I've read a lot a books about London and tomorrow I'll attend a sightseeing tour before my first concert starts." She listened to her lover for a while and felt suddenly all alone. "I guess I'll visit the famous Tower, the Globe Theatre and Big Ben. That's a lovely tower! You should hear the bell ring!" She sighed again and could suddenly hear the sadness in her lover's voice.

"Yes I love you, too." She finally answered and walked back into her hotel room. It was a very luxurious one - and it was very empty... Michiru sat down on the bed's edge and knew that it was too big for her alone.

"I am feeling fine. Hai, I still have to take my medicine but it doesn't hurt anymore." She said and laid back on the soft blanket. Her free hand stroked her belly. Yes, it actually didn't hurt anymore. Not physically. The pain, however, didn't stop in her head. But it decreased more and more each time she could stand on the wide stage and gave her music to the people. The melodies of her violin healed her soul step by step. But it was a big wound and it would last some more time until it was healed.

They talked about different things until Michiru had to get ready to go to breakfast. While she dressed up and went down to the restaurant she wished her lover and her daughter a good night and sweet dreams.

She didn't even notice that she actually forgot to talk about Haruka's new style of driving her race car.

"I wanna black shoes!" Declared Hotaru as she took her papa's hand and followed her into the shopping centre in the middle of Tokyo City.

"I don't know if they have black sandals but we can try it. Often summer shoes are white or yellow." Haruka watched her little daughter. She was a normal child. A wild child sometimes. You would never think that she was the future senshi of death, but Hotaru loved dark colours. Dark, violet and white were her favourite colours. Seldom she wore green or yellow.

Well, if that's our smallest problem than we'll survive it. Michiru often said and brought the little girl a violet dress or something similar.

Michiru ...

"Wanna get a summer hat, please?" Hotaru's dark eyes watched her papa pleadingly. Haruka sighed resigned, then she smiled.

This girl knows how the make me weak.

"Okay." She agreed and they both entered the department store for children clothes. The small girl left her papa's side and tried one hat after another. Sceptically she watched herself in a mirror that was taller than her. Haruka waited next to her and got bored after a while because Hotaru wasn't satisfied with any hat although the young woman assured her that every hat fitted perfectly.

Haruka looked around and something picked her eyes.

"Don't run away. I am right over there." She told her daughter who just nodded while taking the next hat into her little hands. She didn't seemed to be very satisfied with that try, either.

The young woman took her sun glasses away when she walked to the colourful plastic boxes full of tiny clothes. Baby clothes. Haruka swallowed hard as she stared at the tiny pyjamas in her big hands. They were deep blue with white seabirds all over them.

How would Usagi call it? Cute!

The young woman didn't know how long she just stood there holding the small pyjamas tighter than necessary.

It's a long time ago that we needed such things.

Hotaru grew up very fast, but they didn't threw away the clothes. Neither the cradle.

We will sure need it again.

"Don't you think Usagi's got enough of this stuff?" asked a male voice suddenly behind her. Haruka startled, spun around and looked angrily into Sejya's grinning face. The young woman searched for the perfect words but she didn't find them. So she kept silent.

"Those girls are driving me crazy!" sighed Yaten and appeared behind the lead singer of the famous boy group Three Lights. Surprised he recognized Haruka and remembered that she wanted to buy something for Hotaru.

"Did you find some shoes?" he asked and looked down to the pyjamas in Haruka's hands.

I didn't realized that she was as crazy as the others about Chibiusa.

"Don't you think that this one is too tiny for Hotaru-chan?" he mocked gently.

"We couldn't find any sandals yet, because Hotaru-chan is looking after a nice hat." She pointed over to the little girl simply ignoring the young man's question.

"That's cuuute!" In the next moment Usagi stood next to her. Together with Minako she investigated the tiny pyjamas and Haruka just watched her in silence.

"Hai, that's perfect!" said the senshi of love and took some more tiny clothes out of the boxes.

"I think it's too dark for Chibiusa." Declared Sejya determinedly and wanted to go away. But he stayed as no one actually followed him. Yaten just stared to the department door's ceiling. But no one answered him. No one helped.

But it is of the same colour as the sea...

"What are you doing here?" asked Haruka finally the two boys, trying to ignore that Usagi was about to buy the pyjamas for her unborn daughter.

These are just simple pyjamas. I've got enough at home. Our small princess grew up too fast to use them all.

But she _was_ disappointed as Usagi went to the counter to pay. Minako followed her like a loyal puppy, but Haruka knew that the senshi of love was simply concerned about her future Queen. About her Queen being well advanced in pregnancy. In pregnancy with her future Princess.

"Well, Mamoru is at work and so I actually wanted to drive Usagi and Minako to the hospital for the weekly visit. And next to the hospital is the library where I actually wanted to deliver my love drunken Yaten." Explained Sejya and ignored his younger group partner's protest.

"But Usagi got thirsty and at our quest for a cool soda we found this department store for children's clothes. And that was the point when I lost control. Now I guess that we will never reach the hospital. Or at least without thousands of bags full of baby stuff."

Haruka listened carefully to Sejya and could see the sadness in his blue eyes. But she could also see deep love and peace. It had been hard for the lead singer of Three Lights when he had to learn that Usagi only loved her Mamo-chan. However, in the end he had to accept that he would only be a good friend to Usagi. There would never be more than friendship between them. Sejya understood, after all. He realised that Mamoru was a loving husband for the young woman with such great heart. And that he would be a loving father for unborn Chibiusa.

On the day of their wedding Sejya overcame the pain of his unlucky love and now he was one of Usagi's best and most loyal friends.

"I wanna this one!" Hotaru plucked at the wide blue shirt Haruka was wearing over her blue jeans and held up a huge hat. It was almost to big for the little child but Haruka knew the determined expression on her daughter's face too well.

Sejya looked at the little girl in disbelieve while Yaten burst out into laughter. Then they all went serious again as they heard the scream coming from the street. They all could feel it. This was not a normal cry for help. Someone was attacked by a Youma.

It had been some years ago that they defeated Galactica, but there were still some youmas left. Months could pass and they did not hear anything of any of them. But sometimes they tried to get back the power they lost as the Chaos disappeared. Maybe there was some greater person behind the few attacks who wanted to regain the world power. Maybe there wasn't.

Haruka grabbed her daughter and sat the puzzled Hotaru into the department store's children's corner.

"You stay here until I'll come back." She said more sharply than she intended to the little girl and gave her a quick kiss on the forehead. "Don't move!" The young woman gave her daughter a toy car in her hands. "Then you'll get your hat." Haruka promised. The next second she turned away and ran out to the street rising her henshin.

"Hey! Wait!" shouted Sejya and Yaten at once. Usagi just watched Haruka leaving the department store. Then she pushed the confused Minako the bags with baby clothes into the cold hands.

"As wild as always!" sighed the young woman being well advanced in pregnancy while she followed the young car racer.

Two older women were laying unconscious on the green ground of the near park as the wind senshi arrived. The sun was shinning hotly, the air shimmered. The water of a huge fountain looked like soft rain. Rainbows covered the quiet surface. The leaves of the trees rushes gently in the fresh wind.

Sailor Uranus watched the youma for some seconds with hate. This monster was really ugly. Maybe it had been a plant in his former life but now it resembled more a compost heap.

"I'll kill you all!" It shouted but it's voice sounded choked. As if it had never been able to learn the human language properly.

"Over my dead body!" replied Haruka and held up her henshin to call her supernatural powers.

"If that's your wish." The youma laughed a wicked laugh, then it attacked the senshi with a pair of scissors.

"Earth Shaking!" Sailor Uranus shouted - but nothing happened. She looked down at her golden henshin in disbelieve. Then she jumped back as the pair of scissors were aimed on her.

What's happening NOW?

Haruka jumped into the tree and almost missed the saving branch. Her weakness suddenly returned and she felt very tired.

Not now!

"How can you do this?"

Sailor Uranus lowered her head and looked down to Sailor Moon who appeared next to the fountain holding her Holy Grail in her trembling hands. She wore a white wide dress, but her arched belly was immense.

"How can you torture poor innocent people like this? That's inexcusable!" Sailor Moon tried a turn but it didn't work. She was too immobile for such athletic sports. So she just waved her Grail a bit and shouted with a thin voice. "That's why I'll punish you in the name of the moon!"

The youma watched her for some minutes in disbelieve. Then he started to laugh and the pair of scissors were now aimed at the pregnant super hero.

No...

Haruka jumped down from her tree and ran towards her Queen.

She's too slow for such a fight. She's too weak!

"No!"

Sailor Uranus could see the blades' silver shimmer when she grabbed Usagi's arm hard and covered her body with her own.

She will have a baby in about a month! I'll have to protect her. Her and Chibiusa!

Haruka winced as she felt the pain in her right shoulder. Then she landed with Usagi on the grass near the fountain. The birds still sang happily and the fountain's rushes almost seemed to be peaceful.

"Your shoulder..." whispered Sailor Moon as she watched her with her big blue eyes. Quickly tears were filling them.

"Everything okay?" gasped Sailor Uranus and pulled the bloody blade out of her right shoulder that ached more and more. Shocked Haruka looked down at the blood on her hands.

That could have been Usagi's blood. And that of Chibiusa...

"Yes." Nodded Sailor Moon and a fragile smile appeared on her pale face. She seemed to be surprised by herself that she wasn't as powerful as always. As in those days when she defeated Galactica and saved the world.

They both could have been killed...

Haruka jumped to her feet and spun around to face the grinning youma who already held up the next pair of scissors.

"You'll surely regret this big mistake!" shouted Haruka and waved her henshin again ignoring that it didn't work five minutes ago. She was full of rage. Her face looked determined and furious. Her deep green eyes shimmered with hate.

"EARTH SHAKING!"

A great planet of a golden colour evolved out of her henshin and grew bigger with every meter. But this time it was surrounded by a weak green light.

Haruka's eyes widened as she watched the unfamiliar planet making it's way towards the screaming youma. Her legs trembled too much and so she went down on her knees.

"Fighter Star Power!"

"Healer Star Power!"

"Crescent Beam!"

Sailor Uranus heard the voices of the others and the other lights combined with her strange planet. It hit the youma that screamed out loud and finally vanished. As all youmas did when they were defeated.

We are lucky. It could have been worse...

"Everything okay?" asked Sejya with a worried face and helped Usagi up. The future Queen of Crystal Tokyo just nodded and sighed worn-out. This battle had been too much for her. And for Haruka's nerves as well.

"Are you NUTS!" she shouted angrily at Usagi who paled visibly. "What the hell was that? Did you wanted to kill yourself? And your unborn daughter, too!"

"Hey, she just wanted to help." Said Yaten and laid a hand on the young woman's healthy shoulder.

"Oh shut up!" she pushed his hand away. Her pale face blushed in anger and she clenched her fists. Then she returned her attention to Usagi who started to cry silently. Without making any sound or sob she just looked at Haruka with her big innocent eyes. That drove Haruka almost crazy.

"Didn't you realize in what danger you've been?" she shouted loudly and some bird flew terrified into the blue sky. "It's not your bloody job any longer to fight in battles for the good side. We've grown up to handle this alone. Don't worry. You aren't a real help any longer. Not in you condition!"

Usagi lowered her head and Haruka suddenly felt sorry for her ill-considered words.

Of course she's a help. But Chibiusa is more important than such a silly youma!

"That's enough!" said Sejya coldly and stepped protectively between the future Queen and the outer senshi. Angry blue eyes met empty green ones.

"Just take care of your child." Whispered Haruka. Then she turned away and walked into the department store to fetch her little tomboy and that big summer hat.

Light green eyes watched her thoughtful while Minako asked Usagi for the twentieth time if anything did hurt.

"Usagi simply wanted to help!" Sejya said grumpily. "Sometimes she's so insensible!"

Yaten silently disagreed.

"Why are we going into _this_ house? It scares me!" Hotaru held the young woman's hand tighter.

Because I want to know if anything happened to little Michi-chan during the battle.

"My shoulder hurts." Haruka replied but she knew that it was just a scratch. Nothing to be worried about it. She had been lucky.

So was Usagi.

"Are you ill?" Suddenly tears were rolling down the little girl's pale cheeks and she stopped walking in front of the entrance of the hospital. "I don't wanna you to stay in this terrible house!" The sobbing increased. "I don't wanna loose you!" Hotaru turned and wanted to run away, but Haruka was faster. She held her little daughter tight in her strong arms.

"You're ill and no one tells me." Cried the little girl and fought against her papa's embrace. But Haruka was stronger than her. "Poo and Yaten talked about this house and that you went to the doctor last month." Hotaru looked up with her sad dark eyes and Haruka knew that she had to tell her the truth.

"You're ill and now you'll go, too."

She's missing Michiru more than I thought.

The young woman stood up with her daughter in her arms and walked over to a bank that stood under a great chestnut tree. There she sat down and dried her little daughter's salty facer with the corner of her blue shirt.

"I am not ill." She declared and smiled softly at the small girl on her lap. Hotaru held the huge summer hat tight in her little hands and looked up to her papa.

"No?" she whispered and the last tears rolled down her cheeks.

"No." Haruka stroked gently the future senshi of death's black hair. A still small senshi who was full of fears of loosing her parents.

She knows more than we want her to know.

The young woman swallowed hard.

What does she really know about Michi-chan's illness? Is that the reason for her to be so worried about me?

"Do you want a brother or sister?" she asked and could see the confused expression on her daughter's face that was quickly replaced by bright smile.

"Mommy and you will have a baby?" asked the little girl and the tears disappeared completely from the now happy face.

"That's why I'll have to go to the doctor time by time. Nothing to be worried about, my sweet princess." Haruka stroked the dark hair again. It felt like velvet. "And auntie Usagi must visit the doctor as well and she isn't ill, is she?"

"No." Agreed Hotaru and the smile grew wider. "When may I play with the baby? You know I got this wonderful card play last birthday."

Haruka shook her head grinning and started to laugh.

"I love you, my sweet princess." She laughed and pressed her little daughter gently. "I think you must wait until New Year."

"Oh, New Year..." Hotaru looked disappointed but the smile didn't fade. "Well, till New Year I can play with Chibiusa."

"If auntie Usagi agrees."

"She will." A confident expression appeared on the child's face. "Then we can play the cards properly. You know it needs normally three person to play it."

"You are not very patient."

"I am like my sweet Haruka-papa." Answered Hotaru innocently but she smiled impishly.

"You..." Haruka tickled her little daughter who burst out into happy laughter. When the young woman stopped she looked down to her daughter very serious and Hotaru looked back as serious as she. These were the few moments Haruka remembered that the small girl would be Sailor Saturn some day, the senshi of death.

Will the baby be a senshi?

But there were no planets left in this galaxy. And no one ever heard of a fifth outer senshi. Not even Setsuna who knew a lot about the past. And sometimes about the future as well...

"The baby is our little secret, did you understand?"

"Hai." Hotaru came to her feet and ran over to the entrance. "I love secrets!" Haruka took the summer hat which laid on the grass and came over to her little daughter. Hotaru liked secrets. And she hardly ever betrayed one.

"Here's your hat." Haruka placed it into her daughter's dark hair who took trustfully her cold hand and warmed it.

"I wanna a sister." She declared determinedly as they both entered the hospital.

"I liked the movie." Yaten opened the door for his girlfriend and followed her into the kitchen.

"It wasn't very realistic." Setsuna put her bag down and opened the fridge for cooled ice tea. Although it was late at night it was still very hot outside. They both returned from the cinema and were now talking about the movie they watched. Afterwards they went for dinner into an noble restaurant in the middle of the city.

"Don't you like happy endings?" Yaten wrapped his arms around her from behind and kissed her neck. The young woman shivered and put her glass of ice tea down at the table.

"Yes, but that's not the point." She sighed as she felt more and more hot kisses on her skin. "No one died, no one actually was sad in the end." Setsuna turned around to face Yaten who grinned at her.

"I didn't realize that you're as theatrical as Tahiki." He stood up on his toes and kissed her gently. Setsuna returned his embrace and held him tight while she kissed him back.

"Admit that you liked the movie, too!" he whispered and she could see his eyes shinning in the darkness. They didn't switched on the lights as they entered the house by the sea where they lived during the time Michiru was on tour.

"Hai." Answered Setsuna very quietly and pushed her lover towards the couch behind the round table. In the light of the moon which shone through the great window Setsuna could see the almost wicked grin on her lover's face as they laid down on the white couch's soft underground.

"Don't you think we should go...?" whispered Setsuna between two kisses as Yaten opened her plait and her long green hair cascaded on her back.

"No. Everyone is sleeping now. No one will hear us." Yaten kissed his lover again and groaned silently as Setsuna opened the buttons of his white shirt and uncovered his chest.

That was the moment they heard the noises from the living-room. Startled green eyes looked into horrified dark ones. They left the couch quickly and Yaten tried hopelessly to close his shirt again. Setsuna finally helped him. But no one entered the kitchen.

Neither a small girl who couldn't sleep because of a nightmare. Nor a young woman who couldn't sleep because of the loneliness in her life.

However, the noise didn't stop. So both of them decided to risk a look into the living-room.

The lights were on and a fat man talked about a perfect diet on TV. Haruka was lying on the huge comfortable couch near the chimney. Her eyes were closed and she slept deep and tight. Haruka held her little daughter tight who laid next to her and slept as well. The small child wore violet pyjamas while her papa misused one of Michiru's long T-shirts. The young woman's left arm was bandaged. Several cards covered the carpet around the couch and a book laid on Haruka's chest. Setsuna and Yaten exchanged glances. Then Setsuna put carefully the open book away while her lover covered the two with a warm blanket. It was still warm at night but it would be colder at dawn.

For a long moment Yaten watched the small girl's smiling face. She looked really happy. So different from her papa.

"She seems to be very worried about our Usagi." Said Setsuna quietly as she switched off the TV and showed Yaten the opened book. She once took it from the library for baby Hotaru. It was about the illnesses and the food of little children. And it was about pregnancy and birth, as well. Haruka and Michiru never read the first fifty pages, because they weren't necessary to handle baby Hotaru. Until now...

"The wonder of birth." Read Yaten and looked terrified at the pictures under the text. "I feel with Usagi. That's terrible." Then he looked down into the young car racer's sleeping face.

"Maybe that's why she shouted so angrily at Usagi." Said Setsuna, closed the book and embraced her lover tightly. They talked about the battle during their dinner and the senshi of time had been surprised about Sailor Uranus' behaviour. It was alike what happened but Haruka had never ever shouted at Sailor Moon. Yes she shouted regularly at Tahiki, Sejya and even at the inner senshi, but she had never been really angry about Usagi. About Usagi who saved the world. About Usagi who was her future Queen. About Usagi who saved her Michiru after they found the talismans...

"Maybe that's why she had been so angry."

"Maybe..." whispered Yaten and remembered the tiny blue pyjamas which had been brought by Usagi.

Haruka's face had been disappointed, hadn't it? Although she tried hard to hide it. But why...

Yaten suddenly forget all his thoughts as he followed his Setsuna into their bedroom.


	5. Chapter 4 July

**Chapter Four (July)**

A soft melody filled the air. Nothing could be heard except the sweet music. The audience watched the young woman on the stage in awed silence.

They would clap into their hands when the song would be over, but now they were bewitched by the young woman in that long blue evening dress. Her sea green hair covered her back. She didn't wear shoes - as always. Herr blue eyes were closed and she moved gently to the music she was making with her violin. The melody was the only thing that seemed to exist for her in the whole wide world. It was tender and full of love.

Haruka, I miss you.

Michiru smiled and put all her love into the next song. She wrote it during the past weeks when the yearning for her lover increased. While her fingers stroked her instrument's strings she could imagine Haruka racing the car. Haruka with the helpless attempt to cook an eatable meal. Haruka under the shower. Haruka playing gently with their little Hotaru...

Michiru sighed and tears shimmered under her closed eyelids. The melody got sadder with every moment.

It had been now for over three, almost four months that she left Japan. At the moment she played in Barcelona. The next week she would go to America.

Well that's not so far away. But actually it's too far...

I will always wait for you - as long as I live. Michiru smiled sadly as she remembered her Ruka's loving words. They gave her the strength to carry on. To go on stage almost every evening. And maybe these words would help her to overcome the pain that still raged inside her. Since the day after the operation...

I love you, Ruka.

Every night she called her up and they talked for hours about the things that happened in Japan or on tour. With every evening it got harder to say goodbye and often Michiru cried herself into sleep. But when she stood upon the stage and saw all those people who really loved her music she knew that it was the right thing she did. Here she could be herself. Here she was completely recovered.

Here she was the Michiru she had been before that day in late March.

Her play became more and more hopeful and she could almost hear the melody of a piano soft in the background. She actually wrote this song for a violin and a piano. but she played it alone on the stage, because she didn't want anyone else than Haruka to play the other part. It was her love song.

Michiru heard the inner senshi's excited voices and Mamoru's nervous laughter. Doors were slammed and different telephones rang. Then there was the scream of a new born child.

The violinist opened her blue eyes and looked up to the bright endless sky above the stage. The melody got more and more tender and happier than ever before.

"Welcome to this world, little Chibiusa." Whispered Michiru. Then she closed her eyes and returned into her own world made of music.

The telephone rang.

Haruka turned over to the other side of the bed and put her pillow over her aching head. Tomorrow she would have another important race and she didn't want to be more tired than usual.

Finally someone picked up the telephone.

Haruka was very thankful for this person.

Then the door to her bedroom was pushed open loudly and Yaten crashed down into her bed like a wild comet. He grabbed her shoulders and shook her quite fiercely. Haruka tried to defend herself and pushed him away, but he was stronger than her.

And heavier!

"Wake up!" he shouted at her while he turned on the light. His face was redden and a furious smiled appeared on it. "It's a girl!" he said happily and his light green eyes shone with luck.

"Get off me!" Haruka pushed him back again and corrected the T-shirt she wore instead of her beloved pyjamas.

Hopefully he didn't see my grown belly.

Her doctor confirmed her that she was in the sixteenth week now - and everyone who looked closer would see it.

"We all knew that it would be a girl." She said coldly and regretted her words immediately as she saw the disappointment crossing his young face.

"But it's my only chance to say these words." Whispered Yaten. Haruka only stared at him with her green eyes.

Maybe not...

The young man suddenly blushed as he realized that he actually sat on her bed. He let her go immediately.

"Gomen... I...I didn't want to..." stammered Yaten and sighed. Then he went over to the door to leave the room again.

"Hey, Yaten. Cheer up." Apologized Haruka and left her warm bed. She took her black pants she brought last week. They were wider and adjustable. The nice saleswoman in the shop called them maternity clothes. Haruka had always been very slim but now her jeans didn't fit her anymore.

But I will never wear a dress! As long as I live!

The young woman swore silently to herself while she put on the pants and followed Yaten out to the corridor.

There must be some other way!

Hotaru already wore her violet summer dress and looked very tired. Her black hair hadn't been brushed and her tiny dark eyes watched Setsuna in surprise who talked all the time. She seemed to be very excited.

"Hurry up!" she said to the little girl.

"What's all this..." whispered Hotaru and held her teddy tighter. It was late at night and she leaned against Haruka who took her small daughter into her arms.

"We're going to the hospital." Declared the young woman and followed the nervous senshi of time. Yaten was already waiting in the silver Ferrari. "Chibiusa is born."

"Chibiusa?" Hotaru's dark eyes looked shocked. "But my cards are in my room!"

"You can show them to Chibiusa the next time." Haruka gave her little daughter a loving kiss on the forehead, then she sat her down next to Yaten in her child's safety seat on the car's backseat.

"Let's go." The car racer whispered and got into the car behind the steering wheel. Then she hesitated and watched Setsuna working with her seat belt.

"Anything wrong?" asked the senshi of time and looked at her friend in confusion.

"Do you really want to go to the hospital like _this_?" replied Haruka with a smile on her face. "Although it looks _really _sweet."

Setsuna stared at the green negligée she wore and blushed deeply.

"Oh..." was all she was able to say. Then she left the car and ran upstairs to her room.

"Sometimes I think she's more nervous than Mamoru." Gasped Yaten before he burst out into laughter.

It was silent in the small hospital room. Usagi laid in the only bed in the middle of the room. She was tired but very happy. Her long blonde hair covered the blankets and with her white night skirt she looked like an angel in the moonlight that shone through the open window. It was still very hot outside.

Mamoru sat next to her and watched the tiny bundle she held so softly in her arms. He didn't even notice that the door was pushed open and the inner senshi entered the room carefully.

"Mercury, put that book away!"

"And what about your cake? Chibiusa isn't able to eat it! She's just a few hours old!"

"Then Usagi can eat it. After I've sung my song!"

"Oh shut up!" Sailor Mars watched the other three in disbelieve. "How can you argue in a moment like this one!"

The four were silent when they saw the tiny baby in Usagi's arms and automatically they went down on their knees on the bed's left side.

"I hope we aren't too late!"

The future Queen raised her head and smiled in surprise. She'd never heard Sailor Pluto that nervous. Not even during the battle against Galactica.

"Calm down!" The other voice belonged to Yaten.

"In the middle of the night! This child's worse than her mother!" A noisy yawning later Sailor Star Fighter entered the room. For the first moment he looked shocked down at the bundle in Usagi's arms, then his face got sad. But it brightened up as he met Usagi's happy shinning eyes.

Congratulations. he formed the word silently and knew that he meant them.

Thank you, Sejya. 

The two of the outer senshi went on their knees right next to their future Queen's bed. Hotaru left her Haruka-papa and came over to the bed. The little girl was the only one who didn't transform, because she was too young to know about her destiny about Sailor Saturn. Curiously he looked down at the sleeping baby and a bright smile appeared on her face.

"Hello, Chibiusa." She whispered and touched carefully the baby's tiny hand. "I've missed you." She didn't even realize that she said the words aloud. The small girl just watched the tiny fingers holding her taller ones weakly tight.

"She's so weak." Hotaru's face got serious and she couldn't look away from the peaceful face. "But at the same time she's so strong to determine my life..." She said the words very quietly and spoke out what all of them thought.

"Let's go!" said Fighter and wanted to leave.

"Why can't we protect two Queens?" Yaten watched Usagi and Mamoru and knew that he did the right thing. "Why shouldn't we trust this Queen who saved us all?" He went on his knees in front of the bed and ignored his colleagues' deep gasps for breath. "Why can't we protect her little Princess, too?"

"He's right." Whispered Healer and looked at Fighter who lowered his head. "Be honest. You don't really want to leave. That's the true reason why we didn't go with Princess Kakyuu some years ago. She wants to rebuild a new home. That's her will and we've accepted it. But we didn't follow her. Maybe it was our duty to be with her but I think we couldn't leave this planet. Because it became our new home." Healer kneeled down next to Maker and waited. "Maybe Princess Kakyuu will recognize it one day that she belongs to this planet, too. That she belongs to us..." His voice became quieter and finally vanished into the night. Fighter sighed and secretly he had to agree with the other two. So he finally followed them and kneeled down.

The jewels in ten head bands started to glow. Different lights of different colours covered soon the bed where the future Queen, the future King and the future Princess of Crystal Tokyo were. Rei begun to speak with her high and calm voice. It sounded like a blessing. And at the same time it was an oath of unconditional faithfulness.

When did she change her outfit?

Michiru turned from the bed and stared at her lover. She wasn't amazed about the fact that she wasn't in her hotel room anymore but in the hospital she knew too well. It was her job as Sailor Neptune to protect the future Princess of Crystal Tokyo. As it was the job of the rest of the Sailor Team. Including the Sailor Star Lights...

Michiru was amazed about her partner's Sailor uniform. Normally Haruka liked to wear narrow clothes and that was how her costume was tailored. Normally. But today Sailor Uranus wore a wide white shirt with blue sleeves. It almost covered the short skirt she hated. However, she had never been able to change it because all Sailor senshi wore similar uniforms - except the Star Lights.

Why did she change her uniform?

Michiru swallowed hard but she couldn't explain it.

_How_ did she change it?

In that very moment Haruka raised her head and watched the shinning person who appeared next to her in the small hospital room. Sailor Neptune smiled loving at her. The senshi of the most powerful planet tried to reach her lover's hand, but it was impossible for her. She could see through Sailor Neptune and knew that her partner was still in Europe.

Dark green eyes where full of unspoken words.

I miss you.

Soft blue eyes smiled tenderly.

I love you.

Michiru concentrated again on the young priestess's words and her blue light got stronger.

I could tell her.

Haruka hesitated then she decided to keep silent. This wasn't the right time. She concentrated on Sailor Mars' words, too, but she didn't actually hear them, less understand their meaning. After all, this was Chibiusa's moment, not hers.

The lights got stronger and the voice's volume increased. Nine other quiet voices echoed Mars' as they spoke the oath.

Then Sailor Mars rose from her kneeling position and went over to the bed. She stroked the baby's fluffy pink hair and smiled confidently at little Chibiusa.

Then she made the funniest faces Usagi had ever seen from her friend. She giggled and couldn't fight back a laughter as she heard the young priestess' next _very important _words:

"Guchi-guchi-gooo!"


	6. Chapter 5 Beginning of August

**Chapter Five (Beginning of August)**

The hot sun burned down on the dry earth below. The arena was full of people, all yelling at the three persons on the stage. Powerful rhythms filled the air.

Haruka watched the Three Lights for some moments. The race was over now and she won it. Of course. As every race. However, she was not satisfied. Actually she felt lonely. Empty.

The young woman looked down on the trophy she carried in her hand and wondered how this sport could have ever been so important to her.

That had been before I met my Michi-chan.

She had been crazy about this sport. She had wanted to beat every opponent. Every race had been a new chance for her to reach her limits. To be faster as the wind.

That had been before I adopted our sweet princess.

There had been days when she trained from dusk to dawn to get better. Faster. She was the only one in all Japan who could cross her limits without being killed by an accident. She loved it to cross the limit. This used to be the point where she could feel really free. Where she _was_ the wind.

That had been before I decided to carry Michi-chan's child.

Haruka turned away from the stage and walked into the pleasantly cool shadow. It was the hottest summer she had ever experienced. She entered the team's room and put the trophy down on the table in the middle. Then she took her towel out of her bag and stepped slowly into the bathroom.

She knew that she should have been happy about her victory. There were just three more races and she had already won the Grand Prix if she didn't do great mistakes then.

Hai, I should be happy. But I am not...

The young woman stripped her racing suit and watched herself in the great mirror on the wall next to her. Dark green eyes watched her back. They were empty.

It's now over four months...

Four months that Michi-chan went away.

Haruka looked down the woman's belly in the mirror. It was slightly grown. Who knew would see it. And she knew.

Seventeen weeks that I carry her child.

The young woman in the mirror faded and the world begun to spun around. She went on her knees and took her head into her trembling hands. They were ice cold.

The nausea was gone some weeks ago, but the dizzy feeling returned as soon as she did exhausting things like driving a race car and winning a race. Or when she moved suddenly or when she was under great stress.

The child doesn't like me being sad.

Haruka closed her eyes and started breathing again as the feeling vanished.

It is like its mother. Always concerned about me...

The young woman took a deep breath and was finally able to fight back her tears. Last night Michiru had been very concerned about her. Yaten noticed that she was more tired than usual. Weaker. More peaceful. She didn't even argue with Sejya anymore. The young man told Michiru and Haruka had to lie to the young violinist all evening to calm her down. She hated herself for lying to her lover.

Why didn't I just tell her?

Haruka raised her head and looked into the young woman's dark green eyes in the mirror silently. She saw the tears in her eyes and wondered why she didn't find the courage to tell Michiru the truth.

I've never been really afraid.

No, she had never shown any fear. Not during the search for the talismans. Not during the fight with Galactica. Not even during the final battle when they almost lost their lives.

I've never been afraid of anything.

Haruka watched the young woman in the mirror once more. She couldn't recognize herself. The young woman wasn't herself any longer. She was a stranger to her.

Then the image changed and the young car racer saw the young violinist. How she stood upon her stage playing her instrument. Making that wonderful loving music. Her blue eyes were closed and she rocked herself to the rhythm of her music.

Haruka had always been jealous when Michiru did hide herself into her own world created by music. Jealous of the music to take her lover finally away from her.

I've never been afraid of anything.

The picture vanished and Haruka looked at the image of a young woman that used to be herself.

Of anything but loosing my Michi-chan.

Two tears ran down her suddenly pale cheeks.

I wanna a sister! declared the high voice pleading in her head. A thin smile appeared on her face.

I've never been afraid of anything but loosing my Michi-chan and our little princess.

Finally she rose and took her towel again. Then she turned away from the woman in the mirror.

I am stupid.

She scolded herself and brushed her short blond hair while the water ran to heat up the small cabin.

Michiru will believe me. She will believe that this child is hers.

Haruka laid the brush down and froze as the old feeling of panic grew strong inside her body.

And if she doesn't believe me, she would never leave me. Would she?

The young car racer sighed and opened the door to the cabin.

Would she?

At that very moment the door was pushed open and Hashitzou stood in the bathroom. He only wore a towel and stared in disbelieve at the naked woman.

"Gomen..." he stammered and blushed.

"No problem." Haruka took a step into the cabin and closed the door behind herself. Silently she stood under the warm water and closed her eyes. It did happen often that the rest of the team forget that she was a woman. She didn't fell affected by their behaviour. She was used to it. Most people thought that she was a guy. That was normal by the way she wore men clothes and cuts her hair very short.

Most people think I am a guy. Especially when I am together with Michi-chan...

Haruka stroked thoughtful over her grown belly.

And now such a strange woman is having a small child...

Haruka turned the cold water off until the heat hurt on her skin. Steam filled the cabin and the young car racer watched it with empty eyes.

She would never.

Would she?

It was another hot day of this endless hot summer. The weathermen on TV decleared that the summer would not be over until late September. Most people in Japan were happy about it. They went to the swimming pool after work and took care for their gardens. Or they simply played with their children or their friends different kinds sports. Like going by bike or playing tennis. Or playing volleyball.

"That's mine!" Sejya screamed and flew through the air to reach the volleyball. But he was too slow and therefore late. All he got was grass and dirt.

"That was my turn!" argued Tahiki and took the volleyball into his hands. "Don't you ever play with other together? That's a team game. Not a competition for your own." He turned to the other two and rolled his eyes towards the cloudless sky.

"Decide yourself! Do you want to play or do you want to go into the house and do other things?" Tahiki stared angrily at Setsuna who kissed her lover gently.

"Be quieter! Or do you want to wake up little Chibiusa?" replied Yaten and blushed slightly.

"Let's go on!" declared Setsuna and gave her boyfriend a last short kiss, then she returned to her position and watched Sejya challenging. "We will win. That's for sure!"

Sejya grinned at her and took the volleyball out of Tahiki's hands who still complained about their lack of game spirit.

"Keep dreaming." He laughed and threw the ball over the clothesline that was put up between two cherry trees of the huge garden next to Usagi and Mamoru's house.

"The mother milk is very important for a small child." Read Ami and turned the thick book's page. "And it is..." she went on and broke off her reading as she heard the small girl's soft voice who stood next to the bright cradle on the terrace. The cradle was of course covered with cool shadows. Wind moved the white curtains.

"That's a joker. With that card you can beat all the other cards." Told Hotaru the little baby who just laughed happily at the young girl and stretched her tiny arms trustfully toward the future senshi of death.

"They will be the best friends of life." Said Ami and a bright smile appeared on her so often serious face.

"Hai." Admitted Rei who sat down next to her. "And that's very good. Hotaru-chan is a loving soul but Sailor Saturn is a very dark and depressive person. She needs a happy and careless person besides her to manage her destiny."

"Say J-O-C-K-E-R, Chibiusa. Please! That's sooo easy!"

"And she's not very patient." Ami cleaned her glasses thoughtfully.

"And sometimes very wild." Admitted the young priestess and remembered many times when the little girl was in her temple and caused a lot of trouble.

"She's like her parents." The voice of Ami got softer as she turned her head to watch Haruka. The young car racer sat under a cherry tree and played referee. That was not easy with Sejya being in one team and Setsuna being in the other one. But this time Haruka didn't argue with them. She just said the points. A smile was on her lips, but when she felt unobserved she looked lonely. Her fine hands played thoughtlessly with the wide shirt's ends which she was wearing over her blue jeans. Sun glasses did hide her dark green eyes, but Ami felt the loneliness that surrounded the young woman. They all felt it although Haruka seemed to be strong and independent as ever. She never showed that she missed her Michiru. But they all knew that she did. Because they all missed the young violinist, too.

"I am very glad that they adopted little Hotaru-chan. Otherwise she would have never become such a loving, wild and careless child she is now." Said Ami quietly.

"Is that your judgement as a medicine student?" joked Rei but she shivered as she remembered Hotaru being silent and all alone. Being ill and unloved. Being misused by the persons she needed. That had been before Sailor Moon could save her. Usagi saved Sailor Saturn who was ready to sacrifice her life for the rest of the team. For the people on earth. Hotaru got a new life and after Dr. Tomoe's sudden death she got new parents. Parents who loved her with all consequences, taking care of all problems she caused sometimes.

Haruka and Michiru gave their daughter all their strength needed by the little girl to grow up in peace. They would protect Hotaru with their lives.

Rei smiled at the small girl who went on explaining the cards to the tiny baby in the cradle.

The two outer senshi would never ever leave this child alone. Although they had only adopted her she was their daughter. She would be it as long as they lived.

"No, it's my judgement as a living human. As a friend." Declared Ami finally and looked down into the huge book on her lap.

"How philosophical!" The young priestess looked over her friend's shoulder and followed the lines. Soon the clear voice of Ami filled the air again.

"And, how does it feel to be a daddy?" Makoto turned the steaks on the grill and looked up into the bright sky. She liked it to grill on such a hot summer day. It remembered her of her parents.

Maybe they are looking down at me. Now...

"Wonderful." Declared the young man with a happy sigh and stared into the flames.

"With all the crying all night? And the changing of nappies? And the cradling?"

"Trust me, Mako. It's worth it!" A tender smile appeared on the young man's face as he looked over to the terrace where the cradle stood.

"Hai, I guess it is." Laughed the young woman and went to the terrace and counted the dishes. Nothing was missing. Rei and Ami had done their job quite satisfactory.

"Ami? Would you call Usagi and Minako?"

"Hai." Ami handed the book over to Rei who still read it.

"By the way, what are they doing upstairs?"

"They are arguing what Chibiusa should wear for her baptism." Ami giggled.

"That can take days!" Rei turned the page but a wide grin appeared on her face.

"Who are the godmothers?" Makoto looked over to the playing Three Lights. "Or the godfathers?"

"We all decided to be when we made the oath that night in the hospital. The baptism is just for Usagi's parents. You know Ikuko. She loves such ceremonies." Declared Rei and turned another page.

"Yes." Makoto nodded thoughtfully and went back to the grill to take care of their dinner.

"Maybe I'll get a chance to drag them down." Sighed Ami and entered the house.

"Good luck, our shinning hero." Laughed Rei after her and turned another page. Ami just shook her head and disappeared into huge house's shadows.

"O, I forgot the bread." Makoto thought aloud while she controlled the steaks. Mamoru was doing a good job at the grill. That was a good thing, because Usagi wasn't so good in cooking. But she had other talents. She was a loving wife and mother. That was more worth than to be a brilliant cook. The young woman sighed slightly.

"Haruka, would you please take the bread from the sideboard of the kitchen? Rei has forgotten them." She said to the young car racer who leaned against the cherry tree and watched the game.

"Hai." The young woman stood up very slowly.

"And you four, finish your game. It's time for dinner." Makoto looked very determined as the boys started arguing about the victory. She would handle it.

Hell, I am tired!

Haruka entered the nice cool kitchen and took the breadbasket into her cold hands.

It's too hot!

She turned to the door too quickly. The world begun to spun around. Haruka tried to seize on the sideboard but is was too far away. The breadbasket escaped her trembling fingers and fell on the floor. The rolls covered the ground and Haruka went on her knees to collect them. She scolded herself for moving so awkwardly. Her head begun to ache and she knew that it would be very dangerous for her to drive the car when she felt that weak.

I hate this feeling!

Haruka sighed and took two deep breaths.

I should be more careful.

"Haruka? We're waiting for you and..." The voice died won and Haruka bit on her lower lip. She knew what picture she showed to Yaten as she kneeled so on the floor. Quickly she collected the rolls. She didn't look up to see Yaten's surely worried face.

Just keep breathing! That's important!

She took another two deep breaths and scolded herself again for being so careless. It was too hot for doing sports like running through the kitchen. Not in her state of body.

"Is everything okay?" asked Yaten next to her and she could feel his soft hand on her shoulders.

If this was Michi-chan's hand...

But it wasn't.

"Hai." She replied coldly and came hard to her feet. It took all her powers to manage to walk. She held the breadbasket tight in her trembling hands.

"It's simply too hot." She declared and looked into the young man's worried face. Then she turned carefully around and left the kitchen. Yaten stood motionless there and watched the closed door thoughtfully. He shivered as he remembered the cold look in Haruka's green eyes. So empty eyes.

"Too hoot for _what_?" he whispered after a while.

But no one answered.

"I guess we should leave, as well." Declared Yaten after a glance on his watch. It was past ten o'clock and the others were already gone.

"Hai." Haruka who sat next to him at the huge table reached into her pockets. Without looking up she gave the car keys into the young man's warm hand. Yaten's light green eyes watched the young car racer in surprise, then he nodded.

"I'll get Setsuna and then we go, too." He declared and went out into the garden where his girlfriend helped Mamoru to clean the grill.

"Hai..." Haruka's voice was not more than a whisper.

"It was a very nice day." sighed Usagi happily and held her daughter tighter in her arms. Hotaru followed her like a loyal puppy. All day she didn't leave Chibiusa's side.

"Hai." Haruka took her sun glasses although it was already getting dark.

"Please, would you hold her for some moments? I forgot her tiny jacket." Before the young car racer could react she already held the small bundle of joy in her arms.

"But... I...Usagi..." she stammered and raised her head in surprise. Her startled green eyes looked into shinning blue ones.

"Don't worry. You can handle this." Smiled the future Queen of Crystal Tokyo and disappeared into the building. Haruka watched her with growing panic.

Does she know? But how...

Two tiny hands stretched trustfully out to her big ones and interrupted her thoughts. Haruka looked down into bright pink eyes. Hotaru stood next to her and stroked carefully the baby's fluffy hair.

"I wanna a sister like Chibiusa." Said determinedly the little girl and smiled confidently.

"I don't know..." whispered the young car racer and took those tiny hands into her big ones to hold them carefully tight. She remembered the doctor's question. However, she had never been able to say yes.

No, I am not strong enough. The doctor's answer will change my life forever.

Haruka shook her head a bit. Her life would never be the same. Not after that day in late March. Not after that day where she almost lost her Michi-chan. And it would never be the same after the day in June when de doctor told her that Michi-chan's greatest wish would become true.

If she does believe me...

The cell phone rang and interrupted her sad thoughts.

"Mommy?" asked Hotaru who took the phone from the table. The bright smile on her daughter's face told Haruka that it was indeed her lover. She was in America now. That was a little bit nearer to Japan than Europe, but it was still too far away.

Hotaru's face got a little bit angry as she listened to her Michiru-mama's voice.

"Hai, mommy. I always wash my hands before I eat." She declared annoyed. But she couldn't be really angry with her mommy. She missed her too much to be angry.

The small child listened to her mother for a while and started to tell her about the exiting day. About the party for Chibiusa's birthday in the garden of Usagi's great house. She told Michiru about the cards and that Chibiusa liked them very much.

"I love you, too, mommy." She said very quietly with a sudden and gave the cell phone to Haruka who watched her daughter with a sad look in her eyes. For some moments she hesitated but then she took the offered phone. She tried hard to smile but it didn't work as she heard her lover's familiar voice.

"Guess who's with us." The young car racer looked down at Chibiusa on her lap who laughed happily at Hotaru playing with her tiny hands.

However, Haruka didn't meant Usagi's child.

"That was a really good tracking time." Declared Hashitzou as Haruka left her car. "You have been almost as fast as last year."

"But I am not fast enough to get the pole position." The young woman took off her helmet and held it tightly.

"For the last ten races you didn't reach the pole position, but at the end you did win. I think that's more important." Hashitzou watched Haruka while Hotaru left her place at the empty audience and flew into her father's arms.

"May I invite you two to an ice cream?" He asked and bowed gently. Hotaru laughed at him as always. Happily. Carelessly. She was just like Haruka. And at the same time she was so different.

"No, we've got an important meeting." Said Hotaru and her dark eyes were suddenly very serious.

"You heard my daughter, Hashitzou. But thank you. Maybe the next time." The young woman held the small girl tighter. Then she left the race track slowly.

"It had been a really good tracking time, indeed." Whispered Hashitzou confused. "But it had been one of your worst times when I compare it with the last years." Motionless he stood there in the heat of the burning sun above. With a sudden he was very concerned about the young woman who used to be the world champion for the past three years. Now she still won her races but she had no chance to win the world championship anymore.

But it worried the young man most that Haruka _didn't want to win_ the world championship at all.

"It's as tiny as Chibiusa." Said Hotaru as she looked the black and white picture that appeared on the ultrasound's screen. "That's the baby of my auntie Usagi. She's born two week ago and now she's soooo small. But she will grow, says auntie Usagi." Told the small girl the doctor who smiled at her. It was not the first time that his patient took her little daughter with her. But it was the first time that the small girl was allowed to see her little brother or sister on the monitor.

The doctor watched the young woman who just laid there. As always her eyes where closed when he controlled the baby's health. As always everything was fine. When he asked her about the small girl with the lively eyes and the shoulder long dark hair she just said that she was her adopted daughter.

The small girl called Hotaru was the only person who came with the young woman to their appointments. The doctor had never seen her husband and sometimes he wondered if Hotaru's father even knew that his wife was pregnant.

"Do you want to know if it's a boy or a girl?" He asked this question every time she came. She always kept silent and so he didn't say a word about the baby's gender. This time the young woman just turned her head away. She would not say anything more than necessary.

Tenô Haruka was indeed a strange woman. She didn't want to abort the child. But she never said that she actually wanted it. Yes, she came to all appointments and surely she changed her way of life. But she seemed to be so insensible. So empty...

"I wanna a sister." Said the small girl very loudly and watched the monitor with interest. "Boys are stupid. They don't understand real problems. And they can't properly play cards." The dark eyes were determined. "Michiru-mama always says that boys can't understand girls. And I wanna a sister who understands me!"

Michiru-mama. That was also a strange behaviour of the small girl. She called her mother Haruka-papa. The doctor had never found out who exactly stood behind that name, but he didn't asked the young woman. He knew that she would had never answered him.

A thin smile appeared on the young woman's pale face.

"Princess." She said quietly. "Be nice."

"I am always nice." responded the girl and looked innocently with her big black eyes up to the doctor. "And I wanna have a sister!"

The smile faded and the young woman was as white as the wall behind her.

"What is it, doctor?" asked Haruka and felt how her heart stopped to beat. Automatically she held her breath. Her voice was not more than a whisper.

The old man cleared his throat. Then he smiled confidently at the small girl in front of him.

"Hey, small lady. Congratulations. Your wish will be granted. You will have a little sister."

"Jippieh!" screamed Hotaru and jumped through the hospital room. "It's a girl! It's a girl!" Her happy smile met the heart of the doctor and the old man was sure that he had chosen the right job when he had been young.

He looked over to the young woman who started breathing again. A small smile appeared on her pale face. She opened her eyes and the doctor shivered automatically as he saw the empty expression in them. Suddenly he knew that she hadn't told her husband. That she carried this child all alone. That the small girl who jumped happily through his room still screaming excitedly was the only person who knew about the new life.

How sad.

The doctor removed the scanner from the young woman's belly. It was always sad when the future mothers were alone in their pregnancy. But he didn't have the power to change the way of life.

The young woman was the only one who got this power. But it seemed that she didn't want to use it.

It was late at night when Haruka woke up. She kept silent in her bed and watched the moon that shone through the huge window next to her bed. Then she felt it again. The feeling that woke her up. It was light and if she hadn't been in her bed but in her car at the race track she wouldn't have noticed it. It was not more than a light prickle in her belly, almost like a butterfly.

Haruka swallowed hard. Then she stood up. She was sure that she wouldn't find any sleep during the rest of the night. Not after she had felt the first motions of the child that grew inside of her. Now she could not longer deny that it was there. Deep inside of her. Sleeping. Dreaming. Growing...

Michi-chan's child.

The young car racer took automatically the cell phone from the table and left her room. She went through the long corridors ignoring the large pictures on the walls that once had been made by Michiru.

The sand was warm under her naked feet. The only clothes she wore was a large T-shirt that was her lover's. It covered her belly. But it would grow with every day until...

Haruka closed her eyes as she felt the fresh water playing with her feet. The restless night wind surrounded her softly, dried her tears.

I want to call you up.

Haruka opened her green eyes and looked down at the phone in her cold hands. But she couldn't dial the number.

I want to tell you the truth.

The young car racer raised her head and stared up to the stars that shone above her in the endless sky. She remembered the fragile person down in the bed at the hospital. At that very day in late March.

No, I can't call her home. That would be unfair. She needs this time on her own.

Haruka clenched her fists and sighed.

But I need her, too!

It peeped as Haruka switched off the cell phone. Slowly she walked through the low water listening to the waves rushing. Then she stopped. A long wile she stood motionless in the water and watched the dark horizon. The wide ocean's surface shimmered mysteriously in the bright moonlight. Wind played with her short blonde hair. Haruka wrapped her arms around herself and felt her grown belly under the T-shirt. Suddenly she felt all alone.

Michi-chan, I miss you so much.

Tears burned in her eyes and she simply let them fall. The feeling returned inside her belly but it stopped as suddenly as it started.

Where are you when I need you?

Haruka swallowed, then a thin smile appeared on her sad looking face. She knew that Michiru would return home some day. And even if the young violinist didn't believe her she would accept this child as she had accepted Hotaru.

I believe you.

Haruka raised her head up to the sky again as she heard the soft voice inside her head.

"It's a little girl, Michi-chan." Whispered the young car racer and stroked thoughtfully her belly. Then she turned and went back into the light but empty house.

Haruka knew that she wouldn't find any sleep this night. There were many things to think about. Many questions to discuss.

Haruka knew that she wouldn't find an answer.

Not alone...

"How long will her training last?" Setsuna watched the little girl who held different teddies in her hands. The little face shone with happiness.

"She said that she will be back for dinner." Yaten saw the worried face on his girlfriend's face. "Don't worry, darling. I'll take care of our Himmi-chan. There are no rehearsals today, because Sejya is still arguing with Tahiki about our new song so I decided to leave the stage as long as I could. You can go to your lecture this evening. By the way, what is it about?"

"Greek literature." Setsuna smiled as she saw her lover's confused look.

"If you like it..." Yaten replied and grinned as Setsuna saw a book shop. Without a word she pushed the bags into Yaten's hands and vanished between the books shelves.

"I wanna this one!" declared Hotaru and looked up at him with her big dark eyes. She held up a brown teddy bear with similar dark eyes.

"Don't you think you already have enough teddies?" Yaten thought at the animals which covered the blankets of Hotaru's bed at home.

"But it's not for me." The dark eyes were almost as serious as Sailor Saturn's. "It's for my future sister." With these words the little girl turned around to search after another teddy bear.

Yaten just watched her speechlessly.

The training had been exhausting. She felt tired and even the shower couldn't refresh her. Haruka dried her wet blond hair with her towel and watched her pale face in the mirror. Hotaru was already at bed and slept the innocent dreams of a child. Haruka didn't even know how she should survive another endless, empty, scaring night. She brushed her hair energetically and put on the wide T-shirt she wore instead of her pyjamas. She still dried her hair as she left the bathroom and froze in motion as she saw Yaten sitting on the huge, empty bed she begun to hate during the last months.

The towel fell upon the carpet as the young woman saw the crumbled black and white picture that the young man held in his hands. Yaten's light green eyes were sad as he raised his head.

"Do you always want to do everything on your own? All alone?" he asked quietly and couldn't help to stare on her belly. He could see that it was bigger than normal when she moved quickly toward him.

"Get out!" shouted Haruka and grabbed the picture. "Get out! Now! I don't need any help!"

"Not even from Michiru?"

Haruka looked down at Yaten and her blushed face got pale. The anger disappeared from her green eyes as she turned away to look out to the endless ocean.

"Don't you think that Michiru's got a right to know about the child?"

Haruka didn't react. She kept silent. Immobile she stared out to the steady waves bursting on the beach's rocks.

"It's a girl, isn't it?" asked Yaten and sighed.

"Hai." The voice was not more than a whisper. Haruka folded her arms before her chest.

"And it is as well your child as it is Michiru's."

Haruka didn't react. She just watched the endless ocean and wondered how calm Yaten could say these words she couldn't believe by herself.

Does Yaten believe them?

Her dark green eyes grew wide but she wasn't able to say anything.

"Today Hotaru wanted to buy a teddy bear for her future sister." The young man stood up slowly as the young woman didn't respond anything. "Why didn't you just tell us? Or do you want to be a bloody martyr? Do you want to stay all alone for the rest of your pregnancy? Don't you think that Usagi would help you? And the rest of us, too? Don't you think that Michiru would return immediately?" Yaten sighed as Haruka kept silent. "Hotaru was the only one who knew it. Is it so great to be all alone? With your problems? With your fears? Is it so fantastic to hide all your worries inside yourself so that no one can help you? Don't you trust us anymore that you didn't tell us the truth about your so called flu? Why must you lie to us!" Yaten screamed suddenly because he felt hurt. He always thought that the young car racer was one of his best friends. Yes, it really hurts to get to know that she wasn't.

"Because I didn't know what you would think! How you would react..." Suddenly Haruka spun around and yelled at him. As she used to do when she thought that the Star Lights were a danger for Sailor Moon. "I am not a whore... but... but it's impossible for two women..." she stammered and finally her voice broke.

Yaten sighed and his anger disappeared from one moment to the next one. He stepped nearer to the young car racer who was more than one head taller than him and laid his hand on her shoulder.

"You thought we wouldn't believe you?" he asked and his light green eyes meet her desperate ones. Haruka watched him for a while in silence, then she turned again toward the open window and nodded quietly.

"I can't even believe it by myself. But the doctor must be right..." Haruka ran her trembling hands through her short blonde her and lifted unintentionally the T-shirt so that Yaten could see her grown belly. "That's why I didn't tell you. And Michi-chan..." Haruka sighed and for the first time that Yaten knew her he could see tears burning in her deep eyes. She had always been so strong. So independent. The young man realized that Haruka wasn't. Not really. The young car racer needed her Michiru. Haruka was surely strong enough to defeat the most dangerous youmas, but this child... She wasn't strong enough to handle it all alone.

"The tour isn't over yet." Whispered Haruka and fought back her tears successfully.

"But she'll surely return when..."

"She should return when she thinks it is time. By herself! She shouldn't being influenced by me and my..." Yaten could see that Haruka swallowed hard.

"Are you sure?"

"Hai." Haruka lowered her head and Yaten saw that she wasn't. But he wouldn't call Michiru back. That was the young car racer's task. Not his.

"You really don't believe in yourself, don't you?" The young man took the trembling hand in his warm one. It was ice cold.

"Hai..."

"Then let the rest of us believe in you!"

Haruka looked up in surprise as she heard Yaten's determined voice. The young man smiled confidently at her. Slowly the feeling melt inside of her cold body.

The feeling of being totally alone.

"Congratulations, Haruka." A tender smile appeared on the singer's face.

"Arigato..."

It had been very interesting, but it had lasted longer than she had expected. Setsuna put her heavy bag down on the kitchen table and walked over to the living-room. Her lover sat on the soft couch, his fists clenched. Setsuna could hear the tender noises of the violin. On the TV screen she saw a taped concert of Michiru at Barcelona. The young violinist stood there with her eyes shut. The only thing that seemed to exist for her was the music. Her own world, as Haruka sometimes called it. With a strange tone of voice.

"Hello, sweetheart." greeted Setsuna and saw how Yaten returned from his deep thoughts. He had obviously not listened to the concert at all. "What's wrong?" she asked alarmed.

"Sit down, dear." Yaten covered his face for some moments with his hands. When he looked up again he seemed to be very tired. "I've got to talk to you."


	7. Chapter 6 Ending of August

**Chapter Six (Ending of August)**

"It's too cold!" screamed Sejya as Tahiki grabbed his arm and pushed him into the water of the swimming pool. "And it's too wet!"

"Of course it is!" answered Ami who swam like a fish through the refreshing water.

"Don't be such a baby." Laughed Rei and splashed the poor lead singer of the Three Lights laughing.

"You will regret this!" Sejya's face got angry as he pursued an almost hysterical giggling Rei toward the big slide.

"Let's play." Tahiki finished blowing up his bright red water ball and threw it at Ami who caught it with an agreeing smile.

Both plinked as they saw the flash in the air. It was too hot and too nice for a thunderstorm, wasn't it? They looked over to the pool's rim and saw Mamoru taking pictures with the new camera he got from Usagi as an early birthday gift.

"Our crazy daddy." Commended Tahiki and looked up into the cloudless sky like he was looking for support there, or at least for help. He did not like it when people took photos of him, because that was what they mostly did, anyway. Sometimes he hated to be one of the Three Lights.

"He's just taking photos for Chibiusa. To show later to her how her first month was." Calmed Ami him down and let herself fall back into the water, her true element.

"That will be amusing." Tahiki observed how Mamoru went over to the playground to take a photo of Yaten and Setsuna who sat together on a swing. They didn't even noticed the young man. They were too occupied kissing each other tenderly.

"That's the tenth picture of us!" scolded Usagi softly as her husband returned to the huge blanket that covered the grass on the meadow around the swimming pool.

"So let's take the eleventh!" Mamoru smiled down at Chibiusa who laid in his wife's arms. The baby slept deep and tight. Hotaru sat next to the both of them and ate her chocolate ice cream. Her mouth was already brown, of course. Mamoru took another picture of his wife and his young daughter and then of the future senshi of death who just continued eating her ice cream. Brown spots covered the blanket around her. She wore a black swimsuit and her big summer hat. She looked very cute.

"How is it?"

"It's delishis." She replied to Mamoru's question. The word was a hard one and it was pronounced wrongly by the five year old girl, but that didn't matter. The card game was spread out next to the huge picnic basket. Makoto observed the food she made with interest and scolded softly Usagi who took her chance stole a little chocolate bar.

"But I need the power. I am a mother now and that means..."

Mamoru smiled as he heard them both argue friendly with each other. He looked down at Haruka who laid next to her small daughter on the blanket. Her head was put on her arms; her short blond hair shimmered wet. The green eyes where shut and she breathed regularly in her deep sleep. The race the last day had been very exciting. She did win, of course. Just one more race and she would have won the Grand Prix of Japan, again. But Mamoru suspected that it wasn't so important to her anymore.

Of course they all knew about it by now. Yaten and Setsuna told them. However, no one spoke about with Haruka present, because no one knew how she would react. So all of them tried to ignore the signs. The more than obvious signs. Haruka tried to behave as ever although she actually was different.

At first the young car racer didn't want to swim, but Hotaru finally convinced her papa. Haruka took a shirt over her swimsuit as soon as she left the water together with her little daughter. But her swimsuit was still wet and so was her shirt. It pasted to her body and Mamoru could see that her belly was truly swollen.

He swallowed then he lifted automatically his camera and took a photo. Usagi raised her head and followed her young husband's glance.

"She's looking really sweet." She admitted and stroked Chibiusa's fluffy pink hair. Softly she smiled at Hotaru who ate her ice cream with passion.

It was almost dusk, but it was still very muggy. Haruka stood at the swimming pool's rim and looked into the blue water shimmering golden in the setting sun's warm light. She waited for Hotaru who had to go to the toilette before they leave. The others were surely waiting on the parking space for them.

The pool water rushed silently and remembered Haruka of her Michi-chan. The young violinist loved the wet element. Haruka imagined Michiru in her black swimsuit. How she swam in the ocean and laughed happily at her. Waving at her. Inviting her to come into the fresh water. To swim at her side. To play in the low water with their little daughter.

Daughter...

Haruka sighed silently and closed her eyes.

Michi-chan, please, come back.

The young woman swallowed hard as she leaned against the swimming pool's handrail and felt the resistance her belly caused there. The feeling increased as the child moved lightly inside her body.

Michi-chan, come back. I can't live without you.

The feeling stayed for some moments, then it vanished.

"Haruka?" She heard the soft voice behind her, felt the small hand upon her shoulder. She turned around knowing that it was Usagi who stood there. Usagi, not Michiru.

"What...?" asked the young car racer confused as she watched Mamoru walking away with his tiny daughter in his strong arms.

"That's from all of us." Said the future Queen of Crystal Tokyo and pressed a gift into Haruka's hands. Happy blue eyes looked into surprised green ones. "We're here when you need us, as you should know. You're never alone." A loving smile appeared on Usagi's open face. "Congratulations." She whispered. Then she turned away and followed her king and her young princess.

Haruka opened the gift. The paper fell unseen on the sandy ground as she held the tiny pyjamas tightly in her suddenly trembling hands. The baby garment was a blue one with white seabirds on it. The one she saw weeks ago in the department store. The one she was so sad about when Usagi bought it for her Chibiusa.

Or did she buy it for my child?

Haruka raised her head and glanced at her future Queen's the shadow walking away, illuminated by the setting sun's light. Walking over to the other people of the Sailor Team. Her real family.

And my family, too.

"Arigato to all of you."

"That's a nice picture." Laughed Yaten and showed the picture of an ice cream eating senshi of death to Setsuna who had to laugh, as well. However her face got serious again when she looked at the picture of Haruka sleeping on the blanket.

"She didn't tell her, did she?"

"Nope." Yaten shook his head while he put the pictures into a big envelope. He had already written some lines on each of them after Mamoru had been so kind to give them his developed photos so that Michiru could see them and the new born Chibiusa again.

"Where is she?" Setsuna held the picture of sleeping Haruka tightly in her hands and stared at it thoughtfully.

"In the kitchen. She's preparing the salad and talking to Michiru on the phone."

"Ask her if she wants to write some more lines, too."

"Hai."

Setsuna watched Yaten leaving the living-room. Then she put the special picture in the envelope, too.

"Hai, it's in three days... Surely I'll win... what do you expect from a racing genius like me?" joked Haruka while she opened the fridge and took out some sauces she needed for the salad. Her voice was full of joy, but her eyes were empty.

"Hai, Hotaru is doing very fine..." Haruka listened carefully to her lover while she danced around the kitchen to set the table for four. Today cooking was her turn and as always she made salad or other cold meals that would not burn. For Hotaru who didn't like salad she had bought ice cream. Michiru would kill her if she knew that the small girl ate ice cream for dinner, but Setsuna and Yaten kept silent. It was still very hot outside and Hotaru got normal meals the other days.

"Hai, she is still practising to play cards with Chibiusa who just stares at her in disbelieve. You should see it!" Haruka laughed but her eyes were still empty.

"And, how is New York, the big apple as they call it? Busy? Sure it is..." Haruka went to the bread box to cut the bread. Then she opened the fridge again and took out the cool ice tea. She didn't notice Yaten standing near the door, watching her with a sad expression on his face.

"Usagi's doing fine. So does Chibiusa. She doesn't cry a lot but at night. Mamoru always looks a little bit tired. But he looks also very happy. What... hai. She didn't have any complications and..." Haruka listened again to the voice on the phone and closed the fridge very slowly.

"What about you. How are you feeling?... You stopped taking your medicine. That's good. You know how I ..." Haruka balanced the salad bowl to the table and sat down on one of the chairs. She sighed silently.

"When's your next appointment? In five minutes? Then hurry up! I don't want to be the reason for you to be late." Haruka's smile got sadder, the eyes were still empty as she played with the salad servers.

"I love you, too. Bye."

A quiet peep and the cell phone went silent. Haruka put the servers down and looked first at the silent phone and then at her grown belly which she had covered with wide shirts during the past weeks. Her green eyes went wide and the emptiness was now filled with sadness. And fear.

Yaten stood silently near the door and watched her with a determined expression on his face.

She's very brave. Dammed! But that's too hard for her to handle it all alone...


	8. Chapter 7 Beginning of September

**Chapter Seven (Beginning of September)**

"Arigatou… I mean, thank you." Michiru put carefully her violin into the instrument case and took the big envelope from the courier. The young boy bowed for the tip and left her hotel room.

The young woman smiled as she read the address. It was from Japan. From her home. From the Sailor Team.

From my Ruka...

Michiru already wore her blue evening dress. Her concert was to start in about half an hour. The young violinist opened the envelope and took out many letters and a lot of pictures. One fell down to the ground.

"What are they..." Michiru laughed as she saw her little princess with a brown mouth and a great ice cream in her tiny hands. There were other pictures, as well: Of Setsuna and Yaten kissing each other tenderly. Of Sejya sinking into the water until only his upper part of the body remained outside the water. His face showed how cold the water was, at least for him. Ami swam around him like a fish and grinned wickedly at him while Tahiki used his chance to splash the boy group's lead singer.

Michiru's smile faded as she saw the future Queen of Crystal Tokyo with her little daughter in her arms. She looked so happy.

I will never be so happy.

Michiru sat down on her huge, empty bed and touched her belly. The scars didn't hurt anymore. But her soul did. Time by time. But she could live with that pain. There were only ten concerts left. In about three weeks her tour would be over and she would return home. Yes, the pain would never stop at all. But she had her Ruka and her small princess. She was not alone. Never!

Ruka, I miss you.

Tears ran down her cheeks as she saw a picture of her beloved car racer who held Hotaru into the air. The small girl laughed at her papa down in the water of the swimming pool.

The cell phone rang and broke her sad thoughts. Michiru wiped away her tears and took the phone into her trembling hands while she put the pictures away.

"Moshimoshi?" She had expected her lover to call her up, but it was Yaten.

"Moshimoshi, Michiru." He said and his voice was nervous. For the first moment Michiru was alarmed that something could have happened to Haruka but the singer of the Three Lights calmed her down.

"Did anything happen?"

"No, nothing happened. I just wanted to talk to you, Michiru." There was a short pause, then Yaten continued. "Come home, Michiru. Five months are enough to moan. Haruka needs you and your daughter as well."

Michiru discovered the photo that laid on her hotel room's soft carpet. She reached for it and picked it up.

"Don't worry, Yaten. I have only ten more concerts. In about three weeks I will return."

"You've never missed a concert before, haven't you?" asked Yaten and his voice was suddenly very sad. Michiru frowned. Was the young man concerned about Haruka? Why?

"Iie, but..."

"Well, three weeks are okay. But after this time you'll come back. Promise me."

"What's wrong, Yaten? Why are you calling me up?" asked Michiru again alarmed but Yaten didn't answer her questions.

"Just promise that you'll come back as soon as possible."

"I promise." sighed the young violinist and played thoughtfully with the photo in her hands.

"Arigato. Bye, Michiru. And don't tell Haruka that I called you up. She would kill me."

"Hai, bye..." The phone went silent and so was Michiru.

What the hell is going on?

During the last five months Yaten had never said a word that she should come home and now this strange call. What did this mean? Was Haruka in hospital? Or did anything happen to Hotaru and no one was brave enough to tell her?

Why...

Michiru knew the reason when she turned the photo and stared in disbelieve at her lover laying on the blanket, obviously sleeping.

Suddenly she knew why Haruka changed her style of racing the car. She knew why Sailor Uranus wore another uniform. A wider one. She knew why Haruka always sounded so sad when she talked about little Chibiusa although she tried to hide her desperate feelings.

Because she didn't talk about the future Princess of Crystal Tokyo.

"What have you done?" Michiru whispered and closed her eyes. The picture escaped her trembling hands and tears ran down her pale cheeks.

That's why I will misuse my powers to make your greatest dream come true so that you will never get the idea to escape from life and the ones who love you. Who need you. 

The young violinist opened her eyes again as she heard the words she had heard almost every night in her nightmares. However, she had never expected them to be real. She just thought that there were part of a dream that would never come true for her.

Michiru looked around the hotel room, saw the great empty bed and the violin that was put next to her in its case.

"What have I done?" she asked quietly and started to sob. She ran away and left her lover all alone. She didn't even bother how Haruka would feel. All alone in Japan. Yes, the Sailor Team was there for her but even they couldn't help her with the situation she had to handle now. On her own.

I was so selfish!

Michiru wiped away the tears and stood up. Determinedly she closed her violin's case and took her cell phone again in her trembling hands.

"Tonight the concert won't take place." She said to her confused manager and nodded wildly although he couldn't see her. "And the other nine concerts, too. Cancel them all. Hai, all! I have to go home. Immediately! Why? Because that's where I belong!" Michiru interrupted her manager and dialled another number.

"Hello, here's Kaioh Michiru. I need the earliest possible fly to Japan, Tokyo."

I had been so blind!

The plane started to roll and to take off into the sky. It felt like the start five months ago. And at the same time it was completely different. Michiru stared out of the window and watched the world under her becoming smaller and smaller. The houses looked like toys until they vanished between the clouds.

The young violinist held her violin tighter. She took it with her. The rest of her suitcases were still in her hotel room. They weren't important.

The plane flew higher and higher into the endless sky. Michiru leaned back in her seat and closed her eyes. She didn't tell anyone that she would return. Today was Haruka's final race and she didn't want to cause any trouble. More chaos than she had already caused during the past months. She had been away for so long. It didn't matter if it took another hour to get home by bus.

Suddenly Michiru heard these simple words again. Lost words from an almost forgotten dream. In her nightmares she had always been forced to refuse her future Queen's gift. Now she knew that this gift had not been wasted.

Lost words from an almost forgotten dream told her that the gift had been finally accepted that night. Created. Received.

I'll carry it. 

The audience cheered at the winners. The sun shone from the cloudless sky and the entire world shimmered in a golden light. Haruka held up her trophy with a wide grin on her face.

She was the winner. She was the champion of the Grand Prix of Japan. She had shown them all that she was the best car racer of Japan. Maybe of the world, as well.

But I am not happy.

She smiled in the cameras as the flashes flew through the air. Her smile would be on all newspaper the coming days. But her green eyes were still empty. Some guy called Shinji reached the second placwe and Hashitzou stood lucky smiling on place three next to her on the victory rostrum.

He will be a good successor. He has the power to beat them all. The power I used to had...

Haruka watched the open bottles of champagne attentively. She didn't want to get wet. The wide race suit covered her swollen belly very well but a wet one would show the world that she was indeed a women, carrying a child. The newspaper would show it to Michiru in America...

She opened her bottle and splashed the other two winners, but got out of their ways skilfully. To her surprise Hashitzou didn't even try to wet her as he used to do it when he won his first races.

Maybe the Sailor Team told him too.

After the presentation ceremony Haruka left the stage still holding her trophy tightly in her hands. Now the Three Lights appeared on stage to give the debut of their newest song. As the first chord filled the air Haruka couldn't help but smile as she recognized Yaten's song.

So he won at last.

The young car racer was happy for him. Because it was a very tender love song that showed all his feelings for Setsuna. Haruka went slowly toward the Sailor Team. They all stared up to the stage in happy anticipation. Hotaru stood next to Chibiusa's small pram between Usagi and Mamoru. The rest yelled as the Three Lights appeared on stage. The rest except Setsuna. She just stood there watching her boyfriend with such a strong love in her eyes Haruka had never expected Setsuna would ever feel.

I am happy for them.

She spun around as she heard the familiar voice beginning to sing. But it was not Sejya, the lead singer. Instead of the dark haired young man a smaller man stood there. His silver hair shimmered in the bright sun's light. Haruka blinked as she recognized Yaten who sang his song in a high and clear voice.

As he sang his love song only for the woman he loved.

So they finally decided Yaten to sing his song. Sejya's not ready for such a song, but the fans will believe the Three Light's youngest member.

Haruka listened to the song and sighed as it finished. She wanted her love to Michiru to be forever. She wanted her Michi-chan to be with her all her life. But she didn't know how to say it. How Michiru would react. After she would know about the little girl who would be part of their little family coming January.

At least we will be able to have our own grandchildren.

The Three Lights changed their position and Sejya sung another song. A well known song and soon the audience accompanied the lead singer.

Haruka turned around to go over to the Sailor Team and froze in motion as she saw the smaller shadow at the entrance beside her. She didn't know how long the young woman had stood there and observed her but she only noticed her at that very moment. The young car racer stared at the blue evening dress in disbelieve. At the long sea green hair. Into deep blue eyes.

Slowly Haruka went over to the person. She felt like being in trance as she stopped next to the young woman still believing that this was just nice dream and she would wake up the next moment.

It's still too hot. Even for autumn.

Then she felt these soft arms being wrapped around her neck. Felt these tender lips upon her own.

Ruka. 

Haruka closed her eyes and held her little senshi tighter while she returned the kiss with all her love. With all the desperate feelings she survived the last months. With all her need.

Michi-chan. 

Michiru pulled her car racer a bit closer and felt the swollen belly pressed against her slim one. And she felt something else. Like a prickle upon her skin.

Haruka's eyes flew open and she wanted to escape but Michiru held her lover tighter and interrupted any word the blonde might have said with another sweet but deep kiss. The young violinist pressed her lover against the entrance's wall and they both disappeared into the shadows. The trophy made a loud noise at it hit the ground. Michiru released Haruka partly from her arms, but did not interrupt the kiss as she opened one button of Haruka's race suit. The young car racer started to fight but for the very first time Michiru knew her Haruka she was stronger than the senshi of the wind. She won. Michiru could feel how Haruka gave up and simply returned the kiss. As long as she kissed she didn't have to answer unpleasant question, for which she had no logical answer.

The hand crept carefully under the race suit and touched swollen belly's the skin softly. Now Michiru could feel the strange prickle upon her finger tips. She looked up into Haruka green eyes and saw real fear in them. For the first time she _saw_ that her lover was afraid. Yes, she had known that Haruka had her own fears to fight, but the young woman had never shown them to her so openly.

Then Michiru broke off the kiss but not the touch. Another ticklish feeling on her own skin made her smile slightly. It was like being kicked by a small person...

"Then it's true." Whispered Michiru and saw the tears in Haruka's eyes.

"Probably that's her way to say hello to you." Replied the young car racer very quietly and bit her lower lip as Michiru started to stroke her belly's skin gently.

"Her way? It's a girl?"

"Hai..." Haruka turned her head away and Michiru could hear her silent sobs.

"Why didn't you tell me?" She took her lover's hot face between her hands and forced Haruka to look straight into her blue eyes. They were also full of tears. "Why didn't you tell me that we would have a daughter?" Haruka didn't answer. She just stared into Michiru's smiling face and wondered why she hadn't already slapped her. Michiru searched Haruka's face but couldn't find an answer. All she found was fear.

My strong Ruka is afraid.

Michiru blinked. Then she tiptoed and kissed away the tears that rolled down Haruka's cheeks, meeting no resistance.

She's afraid of me..

"Didn't you tell me because you thought I would be angry?"

Haruka's green eyes widened and Michiru knew that she had been right. The young car racer tried to fight for a last time, but she couldn't escape. Michiru was stronger. Or Haruka was simply weaker. More tired. Tired of her own nightmares.

"Hai..." she said and her voice broke.

Michiru gave her a light kiss on so soft but trembling lips and now tears were running down her own cheeks, as well.

"Oh I am very angry!" she said and could see how her lover paling. A resigned expression filled her green eyes, then they went empty.

"I am very angry with you that I missed our child's first five months." A tender smile appeared on Michiru's wet face. "I hope for you that you didn't already buy all clothes and the other baby stuff for our daughter. Because that's part of my tasks as becoming mother, isn't it?"

Haruka raised her head in surprise. But before she could reply anything Michiru had already pulled her closer and gave her another passionate kiss.

It took a long time until it was broken. And it took another long time until they left the shadow to go over to the rest of the Sailor Team.

"Do you believe me?"

Four simple words. Spoken by a calm voice. Externally calm.

Michiru closed the door quietly and watched her lover for a while. Haruka sat on the huge bed's edge and stared at the endless ocean. The balcony door was wide open. The moon's bright light shone through it and illuminated the white carpet. Soft wind played with long curtains and with the young woman's short blond hair. The wave's calming rushes could be heard. They were near.

Do you believe me?

Four simple words. But Michiru was sure that they meant everything to her car racer.

The senshi of the ocean sat down on the warm bed next to her lover and embraced her tenderly. Haruka winced but she didn't turn away from her touch.

Finally the Sailor Team was gone. It was about twelve o'clock late at night and Hotaru had already slept for the last three hours in her Michiru-mama's arms who finally returned from her long tour. They talked about her concerts and the Chibiusa's birth. They talked about all important things.

But they didn't talk about the new life that would be born in winter.

"I am not a traitor" Whispered Haruka quietly and lowered her head. Her blond hair covered her face with deep shadows so that Michiru wasn't able to see the expression on it.

"I didn't cheat on you." Michiru could feel how her lover's body begun to tremble. "You were my only lover." Haruka sighed silently and the young violinist could see two tears running down her cheeks. "Please believe me." The broken voice was not more than a whisper.

"Of course I believe you, darling." Michiru held her lover tighter and rocked her gently. "You said in this crazy dream that you would carry it. I always thought that it had been a dream that would never come true. But know I realize it really did." Michiru opened Haruka's shirt button by button. She felt how the young car racer held her breath as she touched the swollen belly's soft skin.

Haruka closed her eyes as she felt the tender hands upon her skin. Stroking her gently. Her and the tiny life that grew inside of her.

"Then you had this dream, too?" she asked and shivered as Michiru covered her neck with sweet kisses.

"It was not a dream."

"That Usagi misused her powers and Sailor Pluto's henshin?"

"Hai..." Michiru turned her lover around and pushed her into big bed's soft pillows. Finally the bed wasn't empty any longer.

"Usagi said that you would commit..." Haruka green eyes looked sadly at her lover leaning over her. Sadly. Desperately. Lost. Michiru swallowed hard and interrupted the cruel words with a short but deep kiss.

"I will never, I promise." A tender smile appeared on her face and she stroked the swollen belly again. "I will never ever return in my own world leaving you behind." She gave Haruka another sweet kiss. "Leaving my family behind." Then her expression got serious on her suddenly pale face.

"Promise me that you won't do such silly things if anything happens to me." Thoughtfully she caressed her lover's wrists.

"Nothing will ever happen to you." Declared the young car racer and pulled her Michi-chan closer to herself. The young violinist sighed silently, then she started kissing her lover again. She knew that this was a promise she couldn't demand from Haruka, because it was a promise she couldn't even demand from herself.

"I missed you like crazy..." whispered the young car racer and stroked sea green hair she loved that much to touch. "For the next months I won't let you go."

"Neither our daughters." Michiru laughed happily and Haruka remembered that the last time she saw her lover that lucky had been before the operation.

"So you've recovered." She said and opened Michiru's blue evening dress to kiss her.

"Hai..." Michiru smiled tenderly and looked directly into Haruka's green eyes that watched her a rather dizzy look. Then she blushed. Thoughtfully she stroked the swollen skin, then her hand left the belly and went a little bit lower under the new short jeans the young woman bought some weeks ago. They were wide and adjustable.

Haruka green eyes grew wide as she felt the soft touches upon her skin. Then she closed her eyes and her breathing became faster.

"I want you." Whispered Michiru and could feel how the young car racer froze. "Don't worry about the child. It's okay for me to see you this way." Haruka relaxed and searched Michiru's swollen lips. She gave her a long and gentle kiss.

"I want to love you." The young violinist could see how her lover winced as she touched her again.

"You already do..." laughed Haruka quietly and felt suddenly free.

Hai, I am only _really_ free with my Michi-chan by my side.

Haruka took Michiru hot face into her trembling hands and kissed her passionately. This kiss lasted longer than the one before. It lasted for the rest of the night.

I missed you, Michi-chan.

I love you, Ruka.


	9. Chapter 8 Ending of December

**Chapter Eight (Ending of December)**

Snow danced as light as a feather from the cloudy sky down on a busy city. Soft wind played with the flakes being as soft as a ray of light. The white element covered the earth like a protecting blanket. Nature slept. But it would wake up again coming spring.

Coloured lights covered the shop windows of a long arcade. Christmas music filled the air and old Santa Clauses in red jackets asked for some money for the poor and the people in need.

"Arigato." Said a man to a woman who gave him a big note into his shaking hands. It was very cold and the sun was already setting. Soon it would be even more colder.

"Just use the right way." She smiled at him and took the huge bags again in her hands.

"Let me carry it." Demanded the other woman. First the Santa Clause had expected her to be a man but then he recognized the swollen belly she hided behind the thick black coat.

"You carry enough for both of us!" declared the young woman determinedly and slipped on the smooth underground.

They went along the coloured shop windows lost in their own thoughts.

"Why do we always buy the gifts on the last possible day?" asked Haruka and glanced up to the cloudy sky. The snow fell gently around them and gave the young woman a feeling of cosiness.

As every year at Christmas she felt save and secure.

That's the holiday of love...

She lowered her head and looked at Michiru at her side. She laughed happily and snow shimmered in her sea green hair. She wore a white coat and a deep blue scarf protected her neck from the bitter cold. Her cheeks were redden and her deep blue eyes shone with all the love she felt inside.

She looks like an angel.

"That's funnier, don't you think?" laughed Michiru and rose the huge bags she carried. "I would miss this exciting feeling not to know what to give to Usagi until the very last minute when the shop assistant already wants you to leave the shop because they close at four o'clock in the afternoon."

My little angel...

Suddenly Haruka wrapped her arms around Michiru and pulled her closer. Then she kissed her gently. Some people went by. Looking at them curiously. Some of them shook their heads when they recognized that it were two woman who kissed each other with so much passion. Some of them were really shocked when they realized that one of them was well advanced in pregnancy. Some of them just smiled. Understandingly. Knowingly.

Because today was the holiday of love.

Of every kind of love.

"What was that for?" asked Michiru gasping for breath. Tenderly she smiled at her lover who blushed slightly.

"Mistletoe." Declared Haruka simply and gave her another sweet kiss that expressed all the other words she wasn't able to say aloud. Michiru understood her. They had never needed much words.

"We should go now. Our small princess will be very exciting about the Christmas tree. And her gifts, of course." Michiru's hands slipped under the black coat and she felt the unborn child kicking against her tip toes.

"I see that our other princess is very inpatient, too."

"Hai..." Haruka gave her lover another loving kiss and Michiru put down the bags with a resigning sigh. Then she embraced her young car racer, as well, and returned the kiss with all her love.

Michiru had seen the ultrasound's pictures. She had been present at all the doctor's appointment since September. And she had to admit that she had reacted like a becoming daddy there. The doctor seemed to be a little bit confused at the beginning. But his behaviour changed as he realized that the pregnant woman's green eyes weren't empty any longer. Now they were full of happiness. Once he talked to Michiru while Haruka dressed for the ultrasound. He couldn't find an answer why Michiru was a woman and not a man how he had expected. But he told her that he was glad that the young woman wasn't alone any longer.

No, you're never alone.

Michiru pulled her lover nearer and slowly finished the loving kiss.

"We should go now." She whispered and burst into laughter as she saw the wicked gin on Haruka's face.

"Hai..."

They both walked down the long streets of Tokyo, their fingers entwined.

They all sat around the round table in the big living-room in Usagi's white house. The future Queen of Crystal Tokyo smiled at her daughter who laid in her arms and watched the scenery with her big pink eyes. Hotaru didn't leave her side although she glanced more than once over to the big Christmas tree. The gifts shimmered in the dimmed candlelight.

The dinner had been delicious. Makoto was very proud of herself and Rei lamented that she had eaten too much. Minako just laughed happily. Her laughing increased as she watched Ami who hunted Tahiki. The young man held up a book. It contained the famous Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens.

"I wanted to read it!" scolded the inner senshi and almost fell over Sejya who went down on his knees on the soft carpet to observe the gifts.

"But we all know this story. I want to have my gifts, first!" The hunting ended and Ami got her book back. A satisfied smile appeared on her face while Tahiki looked very bored.

"Well, I'd love to hear the story of old Scrooge and tiny Tim." Declared Usagi and stroked Hotaru's black hair who played with little Chibiusa's hands carefully.

"And me, too." Mamoru sat down next to her and gave her a short kiss an her redden cheeks. She looked so beautiful. His queen.

"Why can't we open some gifts, first? Please!" Sejya stood up and looked at Usagi pleadingly.

"You're such babies!" sighed Rei but her eyes hadn't left the gifts under the tree during the past minutes, as well.

"Okay." Agreed Usagi who was also very curious what she would get from her husband. And what her Mamo-chan would say to her gift.

"Fine!" Sejya clapped into his hands.

"May I start?" Yaten rose from the couch next to the chimney where a warming fire burned. Haruka who sat next to him near her Michiru could see how he paled slightly. Suddenly he seemed to be very nervous.

"Why not? But hurry up!"

"Greed doesn't suit you!" scolded Rei Sejya who just made a face and rolled his eyes.

Yaten reached under the Christmas tree and picked up a small box. His hands were ice cold as he gave it who Setsuna who watched him silently.

"That's not very big. I hope my gift's a little bit bigger than this..." Sejya's ecxited voice became silent and he stared at the youngest part of the Three Lights in disbelieve as Yaten went on the knees before the senshi of time as she opened the small box. It contained a golden ring. The brilliant shone in all colours of the rainbow in the soft candlelight.

"I know that I am not perfect, Setsuna. And the future won't be always be shinning. But..." He swallowed hard but the tender smile that suddenly appeared on Setsuna's face gave him the power to speak on.

"But do you want to become my wife?"

The senshi of time went on her knees next to her lover and wrapped her arms around him. She looked down at him, saw the love that lay in his light green eyes and knew that she did the right thing.

"Hai..." she whispered and kissed him gently. She felt how the young man embraced her, too, and returned her passionate kiss.

Minako, Rei and Ami rose from their chairs and cheered loudly. Usagi smiled and took her husband's hand. Just the other two of the Three Lights started at the young singer in disbelieve. Finally they started to laugh and congratulated him to his great catch.

I wish you all the best.

Haruka closed her eyes as the pain returned inside her body. It had started in the early afternoon but she ignored it. Until now. Now it increased.

These can't be labour pains. The date of birth is the tenth of January. Not Christmas.

Haruka took a deep breath. Maybe she ate something wrong. Or the Christmas stress had been to much for her.

The young car racer rose from the couch and smiled at the other young woman who observed the brilliant ring, smiling happily.

"Everything okay?" asked Michiru as her lover waddled over to the door.

"Hai." Whispered the young woman and ran a steady hand through her short blond hair. With the other hand she supported her swollen belly. There were just two weeks left and the child was very wild now.

Now even the wide pullovers couldn't hide it anymore. But the others were very gently with her. Haruka never felt the slightest reason to be ashamed about her pregnancy. No one ever asked who the girl's father was. Maybe they did accept the crazy thing the two women seemed to have done. Or they even believed the unbelievable.

I don't want to worry her for nothing.

Quietly Haruka closed the door and Michiru could hear her walk slowly along the corridor.

"That's cute!" Usagi had gave her daughter into her husband's strong arms and watched the ring at the finger of Setsuna. It fitted perfectly. But Setsuna didn't actually notice her. She just stared into Yaten's blushed face. Into these lucky shinning eyes she loved that much. The young man couldn't help but return her tender looks.

"I wanna a gift, too." Said Hotaru but didn't leave Chibiusa's side. "And I've got a gift for Chibi-chan, too." The small girl watched her mother with her big darks eyes. "Where's Haruka-papa?" she asked and her eyes were suddenly full of tears.

"I'll call her." Replied Michiru and wondered why she felt so cold with a sudden. So lost. So alone...

"Okay, then gimme my gift!" demanded Sejya and laughed as Rei started to fight with him over it. His voice faded as Michiru left the living-room. She went through the long corridor which was too dark with a sudden. First she went slowly but finally she ran. Her heart beat wildly inside her chest. She pushed the door open and stood in the white bathroom.

Haruka kneeled on the white carpet. She had grabbed the soft fabric with both hands as if she searched senselessly for hold on the ground.

As Michiru switched on the light she could see the red fluid that drenched the carpet. It grew wider with every second.

"Ruka..." whispered Michiru and didn't know what to do.

"Michi-chan..." whispered the young car racer with a flat voice and stretched her bloodstained hands toward her lover. A desperate expression was on her pale face. "Please, help _us_!" Then she fainted.

That was the moment when Michiru started to scream.

Five minutes later the ambulance arrived. The sirens could be heard all over Tokyo at this quiet Christmas Eve.


	10. Epilogue December 24th

**Epilogue (December 24th)**

I love you.

The young woman paced through the long white corridors for the tenth time. Or the eleventh? She didn't know. She didn't count. She didn't think of anything at all. Of anything else than her lover who fought with her life. And she couldn't help her!

Michiru clenched her fists and stepped over to the big window. She looked straight over to a huge tree standing in front of the hospital. It was covered with snow like all trees were in Japan in this time of the year.

I love you.

She said the words over and over in her mind like a silent prayer while she stared down on her watch more times than necessary.

Please survive! I can't live without you!

Michiru didn't even feel the tears that burned in her blue eyes. That ran down her pale cheeks. That wetted the white pullover she wore. A white pullover with blood all over it.

_Her_ blood.

What if the doctors did any mistakes? What if Haruka was dying this very moment? And she was not with her! Would never be with her again...

Michiru thought at her lover who pulled her closer under the mistletoe at the street. Who kissed her gently between the snow flakes flowing down from heaven.

Heaven...

The young violinist raised her head and looked up to the dark sky above, saw all the snowy clouds there.

Please god, let her live!

She had not often prayed in her life, but this night she did. With all her heart. With all her love.

"Everything will be fine." Said Setsuna quietly and laid two hands comforting on her trembling shoulders.

"Did you ask the future?" whispered Michiru but knew that the senshi of time would never do something that was against the universe's law.

"I just know it." Answered the tall woman and glanced over to the others who stood in silence near the entrance. Usagi and Mamoru stayed in their big house together with the children. But the inner senshi and the Three Lights were here to be with Michiru.

To be with her if anything went worse...

No, everything will be fine!

Setsuna's looked determinedly into Michiru's desperate ones.

The young woman raised her head as she heard the doctor's steps. Her heart beat slowed down and she automatically held her breath.

Please let her live! Please live, Ruka. Just live!

In that very moment Michiru knew that she would survive their child's death. The end of her deepest wish. Of her greatest dream. She wouldn't be angry with Haruka loosing their child. She wouldn't be desperate about the final truth. She would never ever think of hiding into her own world leaving her Ruka behind...

Please, live...

She swallowed hard. Then she saw the smile on the doctor's face. Confidently he looked into nine worried faces. "So who's the lucky daddy?" he asked and glanced the famous boy group's members.

"How..." Michiru swallowed again and her own voice sounded strange in her ears. "Is she alright? Is Ruka okay?"

The doctor glanced at her and frowned.

"Are you a sister of Miss Tennô?" he asked as he saw the terrified look in her deep blue eyes. The young woman didn't answer. Silent tears rolled down her pale cheeks.

"She's okay, isn't she?" asked another woman with a calm steady voice.

"Hai. She arrived at the hospital not a second too early, but she will recover. We had to do a caesarean, but there weren't any complications."

"And the baby?" Yaten appeared on the crying woman's other side and the doctor decided that he had to be newborn child's father.

"The girl is feeling fine. She has a very loud voice. Congratulations." He shook Yaten's hand who just stared back at him in silence.

"She's got your eyes. The same green. Maybe a little bit darker."

Michiru sat down on the bank next to the window as her legs would not carry her any longer and looked down at her trembling hands.

Dark green eyes.

Like Ruka's...

The young violinist didn't even notice the nurse who came over to the team. She held a tiny bundle carefully in her arms. Skilfully she placed it into Yaten's arms.

"Congratulations." She said and smiled happily at him. Then she watched the others coming nearer and glancing over the young man's shoulder who just stared down at the small child in his arms.

"Are you all aunts?" she asked surprised.

"Hai..." whispered Rei with tears in her dark eyes.

"Hai..." replied Makoto and Minako with one voice.

The book with the Christmas Carol fell loudly on the floor as Ami came slowly nearer.

"And uncles." nodded Tahiki and smiled as he thought of Yaten's words at Chibiusa's birth.

Why can't we protect her little Princess, too? 

This girl would never be the Princess of Crystal Tokyo but she would be a princess, too.

"She's so tiny..." whispered Sejya and touched gently the baby's forehead. A baby who looked like both Haruka and Michiru. He thought of the tomboy and wondered how it could be possible...

The girl yawned and stared at him with her dark green eyes.

But it _is_ possible!

Yaten looked up and walked slowly over to Michiru who just observed him quietly. Her eyes grew wide as she felt the warm bundle in her arms.

"Congratulations." Whispered the young man and wiped away the tears on her pale cheeks. Michiru couldn't say a word. She just nodded.

Deep green eyes watched her tiredly. Another yawn. Then the child settled into sleep after her exciting birth. The young violinist stroked softly fluffy sea green hair that covered the tiny head.

She looks like Ruka.

Michiru swallowed and tears rolled down her cheeks again. But it weren't no longer tears of sorrow. Now it were tears of joy.

She looks like me...

"Can I see her?" she asked after a while she just rocked the baby gently in her arms. It felt so wonderfully warm. So tiny the little girl already controlled all her life. She was all her life.

"Hai, but..." asked the doctor and looked very confused at the young woman who reacted as if she was the mother of the child, not the woman had given birth to it.

"Just show her." Said Yaten. Then he went over to the next telephone to tell Usagi and Mamoru that everything was alright.

And our Himmi-chan.

The nurse only nodded.

"Ruka..."

Michiru stood next to the bed still holding the bundle of joy softly in her shaking arms. The young woman looked so small in the bed, so fragile.

Her short blond hair covered her forehead, her eyes were shut. Her face was very pale.

Then Haruka opened her green eyes and smiled tiredly but happily at her lover.

"Gomen. I didn't want to scare you." She whispered and took a deep breath. She made a face as the pain returned into her belly.

"They really cut me off." She tried to joke and reached out for her. Her right arm was connected to a drip. Michiru sat down next to her on the bed and took the warm lover's warm into her own icy one. With the other hand she held the little girl carefully tight.

"But she was worth all pain." Haruka looked from the baby into Michiru's still wet face. She raised her trembling hand and wiped away the tears.

"Don't cry, Michi-chan. Everything will be fine."

"I know." Whispered the young violinist and carefully gave the tiny child into Haruka's arms. The small girl only yawned and kept sleeping.

"Hey, she's as lazy as her mother." Mocked Haruka but her face got serious as she looked into Michiru's blue eyes. The young violinist leaned over her and gave her a short kiss with her warm lips.

"I want to live together with you for the rest of our lives." Declared Michiru and blushed deeply.

"I know." Smiled Haruka and looked down at the sleeping child in her arms. Still it was hard believe that this tiny being had been inside her belly. Growing.

Kicking!

"You're my best friend. My partner and my lover. And now you're the mother of our daughter." Michiru swallowed hard as she watched Haruka stroking fluffy sea green hair.

"I want you to live together with me as my wife."

Haruka raised her head as she heard the quiet voice above her. She looked into Michiru's blue eyes and saw all the love there.

"Are you sure? You know I am not what one would call a perfect husband." She joked tenderly.

"Just say hai!" demanded Michiru and her face came closer to her lover's one.

"Hai..." whispered Haruka and their lips met in a sweet kiss that lasted for a long time. It ended when the baby yawned again and her tiny hands grabbed some sea green hair.

The young violinist turned towards the small girl and watched her for a while in silence.

"It wasn't just a dream." She finally said very quietly and touched the tiny hands as if she still couldn't believe it. That this dream became true. Her greatest wish.

"I said I'd carry her." Answered Haruka simply but her voice betrayed all her feelings.

"Arigato." Again tears were running down Michiru's cheeks. "Arigato, Ruka. For..."

"I wanted this child, too. Although I had been scared." Interrupted the young car racer her partner. "I had been very scared. But now I see that she's worth it!"

The young car racer stroked her lover's cheek and sighed gladly as she saw the happy smile on the young violinist's face.

Haruka pulled her Michiru closer and gave her another long and loving kiss.

She will be a great mother to both of them. To our small princess. And to our _own_ child.

Written: 15th March 2000 - 15th May 2000

Corrected with the best of my knowledge and belief: May/June 2005.


End file.
